welcome

Call me Sueyi.
Call me Sue-Sue.
Call me Sue.
Just don't call me lil fry.

A 19 yr old :

Finding her niche in the passionate world of white coats and stethoscopes.

Missing Malaysian food so badly, that she drowns her sorrow by surfing food blogs.

Who watches scary movies only with friends who have high pain threshold (from all that pinching)

Who has very cold extremities, ask my stimulated patients, oops sorry, "simulated patients"

Who loves a good laugh with candid, thick-skinned friends

Who cannot stay surrounded by 4 walls for more than a few hours

Who loves her loved ones so so much


:)

shout outs



endless wishes

char siew bao.

blueberry muffins.

hot Milo and crackers.

a neverending supply of Daddy's socks.

Bear hugs. Warm kisses. Lots of Love.

My own beach chalet.

Bubble baths.

Shining sun and rainbows.

Sexy stilettos.

Dancing.

Me

I wear socks.Even with heels.

I play with my earlobes.

I have a Mongolian mole.

My family means the world to me. "Family means no one gets left behind"

I like cheekiness. You cheeky, me cheeky.

I heart my close friends, the ones who know me in and out, the ones who've grown with me.

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March 1, 2015



and when she speaks

Thursday, July 09, 2009

The second day at work was nasty.

I remember, walking out the hospital, holding myself together- not letting them fall... and then, I needed to talk to someone- Mum didn't pick up because it was 5 in the morning back at home. I knew I shouldn't phone them- I didn't want them to worry... Then, I phoned Lucia-

And right there, beside the train station, the tears fell. I let it all out; it just came pouring.

My supervisor was so mean to me; I had never encountered/ neither expected- an attending who was such a mean person.

That was the reason why I was placed there- I'm not going to do it for my future career- I'm in medicine; not in obs/gyn... I have had months of experience doing pap smears before- but it was only that day for the very first time; I had ever clipped a patient's cervix and didn't dare take the speculum out. I don't know how it happened- but it did for the second time; he helped me out- then just left & slammed the room door in front of my patient. He could have been more respectful; instead of acting so childishly. In hindsight, I look back and realise it's not me- it was him.

I apologised to him out in the front; and we were in front of residents and med students- but he said blatantly to me 'You need a lot of practise'. I knew that and I was fine with that, but that's why medicine interns are placed in gyn clinic- to LEARN how to do them. So I asked him 'What did I do wrong? How could I have prevented it?'

And he gave me this disdainful look... and you could tell he didn't even bother thinking what I did wrong... 'I don't know' in the most mean fake smile- *Go figure it out yourself. Don't ask me. I'm not going to bother with you*

He was really rude to me; and then, he just signed off my patient; I just felt the tone he spoke to me with was lower than one to a human being. I felt so miserable- but I had to hold it together- and go back to my patients...
I would never do anything that will make my patients feel uncomfortable- I always give them my all- all of my compassion and all of my bedside manners- I would never do anything to hurt them or intentionally make them worse off.

I had to go on and finish. Then, I left for home... and that was when I needed to talk to someone. And Lucia so happened- was post call and picked up my phone call. I cried it out to her- * but it was so silly of me*

And she said she'd cry with me. And we both semi-laughed in our own tears... *hahaha*
She has had it worse off than me; she's been crying since work started...

Intern year makes you the best of friends-through the sharing of tears and laughter like this. The start of our rollercoaster life eh? *lol*

No more. I realised now how silly I was to let that affect me in such a multitude.
He's an arsehole;a jerk -if he doesn't want to teach. That's fine by me. Thanks for that.

I spoke to karl, Brian and Cheah...
and then, mum at night :) *I love you mummy* :)

The most important thing : is my responsibility to my patients.
As long as I treat them the best way I possibly can, there's nothing else for me to think about.
I'm here for them, no one else.

"The only taste of success some people get is when they take a bite out of you"
And I'm not going to ever let that happen again.

You can choose not to teach me. But you cannot choose to wipe out this determination and willpower of mine.

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
10:22 PM;;