welcome

Call me Sueyi.
Call me Sue-Sue.
Call me Sue.
Just don't call me lil fry.

A 19 yr old :

Finding her niche in the passionate world of white coats and stethoscopes.

Missing Malaysian food so badly, that she drowns her sorrow by surfing food blogs.

Who watches scary movies only with friends who have high pain threshold (from all that pinching)

Who has very cold extremities, ask my stimulated patients, oops sorry, "simulated patients"

Who loves a good laugh with candid, thick-skinned friends

Who cannot stay surrounded by 4 walls for more than a few hours

Who loves her loved ones so so much


:)

shout outs



endless wishes

char siew bao.

blueberry muffins.

hot Milo and crackers.

a neverending supply of Daddy's socks.

Bear hugs. Warm kisses. Lots of Love.

My own beach chalet.

Bubble baths.

Shining sun and rainbows.

Sexy stilettos.

Dancing.

Me

I wear socks.Even with heels.

I play with my earlobes.

I have a Mongolian mole.

My family means the world to me. "Family means no one gets left behind"

I like cheekiness. You cheeky, me cheeky.

I heart my close friends, the ones who know me in and out, the ones who've grown with me.

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and when she speaks

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Oncology Clinic has been a terrific experience to-date.
I worked with Dr Bonomi yesterday and all my patients had Stage 3-4 NSCLC (non small cell lung cancer) and Dr Leslie today with all his patients having colon cancer.

Everyone asked if I had an interest in oncology; hence being placed in oncology clinic- I said no; because that thought never struck me before. And I had never had any experience in that field either. I was intent on pursuing nephrology... but this clinic exposure has been great; I am actually contemplating of doing oncology now.

It's funny isn't it? I was initially concerned it would be depressing; dealing with cancer- but you know what; I laughed as I told Dr Leslie this this morning; maybe we have a great clinic and a great oncology team here- because so far; everyone I've seen hasn't struck me as cachectic and really bad-looking - I've seen such well and healthy patients despite dismal prognosis that I'm really impressed with. There is so much we can do; so much hope- so many new clinical trials and new drugs and research studies coming up-it really is bearing fruit in terms of improving quality of life in the patients that I see. That said, I know that the patients that I see are probably veered and biased in a sense that those sick ones without hope are being taken care of by Palliative care.

Watching some of them in remission; come in for their every few monthly check-up; and waiting anxiously for us to bear their CT scan results; I feel for them. They come in; and their mind is so fixated on the CT results...and their breathing rate is up. I don't know how else to console them; but to pat them on the shoulder; tell them to relax; and try to get the results out over and done with -for their sake. Breaking happy news that their CT is clear; you immediately see a sigh of relief and a big flash of smile that forms. It's really sweet to be the bearer of such positive news; as Dr Bonomi shared with me. But, of course- we have some who aren't so lucky either.

I've met a few miracle cases. Those who have survived way beyong the expected given survival time. Take one old man, who is 78-with metastatic colon cancer with mets to the lungs and liver (I saw the CXR-huge nodules in both lower lobes almost the size of my fist); who has surpassed the 2 year expected time and is out to make this his 4th living year. And he looks like he can beat any of the 60 year olds with Congestive heart failure I see on the medicine floor. I told him I saw him outside in the waiting area; and I thought he looked amazing. He gave me a small smile :)

Some of them have beaten their cancers and bounced back with so much zest, vigour and vitality. One, now back to living life as actively as she can; biking 12 miles a day! I told her she is way more active than I am, for sure ;) I think even 5 miles will induce breathlessness in me -.-' *laughs*

One old lady, when we came back with her results; had tears in her eyes; with her brother and sister's support in her room- She was obviously terrified - feeling the entire weight of the world on her shoulders; just waiting for that one report for confirmation-either things are positive or negative- no other way about it:- and when we brought back a CT scan that was stable; no new nodes.... her tears came flowing more- but this time it was out of joy; not out of fear or trepidation.

It's daunting being in that room with us when you follow up for your oncology visits.
I see these patients of mine; and I see so much courage in what they have to face.
I see smiling faces; and I see some who are so doped in pain medications that they can barely lift their heavy eyelids... and I see the tears too.
All extremes -

above all, I see faith and hope in so many of them. And I think; it's important to have that.
And support and love around you. To keep your sanity and strength to hold it altogether. And to keep that fighting spirit to keep on living your everyday as best as you can :)

Carpe diem.

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
2:45 PM;;