welcome

Call me Sueyi.
Call me Sue-Sue.
Call me Sue.
Just don't call me lil fry.

A 19 yr old :

Finding her niche in the passionate world of white coats and stethoscopes.

Missing Malaysian food so badly, that she drowns her sorrow by surfing food blogs.

Who watches scary movies only with friends who have high pain threshold (from all that pinching)

Who has very cold extremities, ask my stimulated patients, oops sorry, "simulated patients"

Who loves a good laugh with candid, thick-skinned friends

Who cannot stay surrounded by 4 walls for more than a few hours

Who loves her loved ones so so much


:)

shout outs



endless wishes

char siew bao.

blueberry muffins.

hot Milo and crackers.

a neverending supply of Daddy's socks.

Bear hugs. Warm kisses. Lots of Love.

My own beach chalet.

Bubble baths.

Shining sun and rainbows.

Sexy stilettos.

Dancing.

Me

I wear socks.Even with heels.

I play with my earlobes.

I have a Mongolian mole.

My family means the world to me. "Family means no one gets left behind"

I like cheekiness. You cheeky, me cheeky.

I heart my close friends, the ones who know me in and out, the ones who've grown with me.

Archives

July 1, 2007

July 8, 2007

July 15, 2007

July 22, 2007

July 29, 2007

August 5, 2007

August 12, 2007

August 19, 2007

August 26, 2007

September 2, 2007

September 9, 2007

September 16, 2007

September 23, 2007

September 30, 2007

October 7, 2007

October 14, 2007

October 21, 2007

October 28, 2007

November 4, 2007

November 11, 2007

November 18, 2007

November 25, 2007

December 2, 2007

December 9, 2007

December 16, 2007

December 23, 2007

January 6, 2008

January 13, 2008

January 20, 2008

January 27, 2008

February 3, 2008

February 10, 2008

February 17, 2008

February 24, 2008

March 2, 2008

March 9, 2008

March 16, 2008

March 23, 2008

March 30, 2008

April 6, 2008

April 13, 2008

April 20, 2008

April 27, 2008

May 4, 2008

May 11, 2008

May 18, 2008

May 25, 2008

June 1, 2008

June 8, 2008

June 15, 2008

June 22, 2008

June 29, 2008

July 6, 2008

July 13, 2008

July 20, 2008

July 27, 2008

August 3, 2008

August 10, 2008

August 17, 2008

August 24, 2008

August 31, 2008

September 7, 2008

September 14, 2008

September 28, 2008

October 5, 2008

October 12, 2008

October 19, 2008

October 26, 2008

November 2, 2008

November 9, 2008

November 16, 2008

November 23, 2008

November 30, 2008

December 7, 2008

December 14, 2008

December 21, 2008

December 28, 2008

January 4, 2009

January 11, 2009

January 18, 2009

January 25, 2009

February 1, 2009

February 8, 2009

February 15, 2009

February 22, 2009

March 1, 2009

March 8, 2009

March 15, 2009

March 22, 2009

March 29, 2009

April 5, 2009

April 12, 2009

April 19, 2009

April 26, 2009

May 3, 2009

May 10, 2009

May 17, 2009

May 24, 2009

May 31, 2009

June 7, 2009

June 14, 2009

June 21, 2009

June 28, 2009

July 5, 2009

July 12, 2009

July 19, 2009

July 26, 2009

August 2, 2009

August 9, 2009

August 16, 2009

August 23, 2009

August 30, 2009

September 6, 2009

September 13, 2009

September 20, 2009

October 4, 2009

October 11, 2009

October 18, 2009

October 25, 2009

November 1, 2009

November 8, 2009

November 22, 2009

November 29, 2009

December 6, 2009

December 13, 2009

December 20, 2009

January 31, 2010

February 28, 2010

March 14, 2010

March 21, 2010

March 28, 2010

April 4, 2010

May 9, 2010

May 23, 2010

May 30, 2010

June 6, 2010

July 11, 2010

July 18, 2010

July 25, 2010

August 1, 2010

August 8, 2010

August 15, 2010

August 22, 2010

August 29, 2010

September 5, 2010

September 26, 2010

October 3, 2010

October 10, 2010

October 17, 2010

October 24, 2010

October 31, 2010

November 7, 2010

November 14, 2010

November 21, 2010

November 28, 2010

December 5, 2010

December 19, 2010

December 26, 2010

January 9, 2011

January 16, 2011

January 23, 2011

February 13, 2011

February 20, 2011

February 27, 2011

March 6, 2011

March 13, 2011

March 20, 2011

April 3, 2011

April 10, 2011

April 24, 2011

May 15, 2011

May 22, 2011

May 29, 2011

June 5, 2011

June 19, 2011

July 10, 2011

July 17, 2011

July 24, 2011

July 31, 2011

August 7, 2011

August 14, 2011

August 28, 2011

September 4, 2011

September 11, 2011

September 18, 2011

September 25, 2011

October 2, 2011

October 16, 2011

October 23, 2011

October 30, 2011

November 6, 2011

November 13, 2011

November 20, 2011

January 8, 2012

January 29, 2012

February 5, 2012

March 11, 2012

March 18, 2012

March 25, 2012

July 8, 2012

July 22, 2012

August 5, 2012

August 12, 2012

September 2, 2012

September 16, 2012

September 30, 2012

October 7, 2012

October 14, 2012

October 21, 2012

October 28, 2012

November 11, 2012

September 8, 2013

September 29, 2013

January 5, 2014

January 26, 2014

February 16, 2014

July 27, 2014

August 17, 2014

August 24, 2014

November 16, 2014

December 7, 2014

February 22, 2015

March 1, 2015



and when she speaks

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

My 20 year old patient who has been in the surgical intensive care unit has been there since the first day I started my rotation- she's been in the hospital laying in that room; for more than 3 weeks.

Only 20 years old; yet she has succumbed to a lot. 2 failed liver transplants and now lymphoma seeds her entire liver. Her course had been complicated by so many other organ disorders:-kidney dysfunction; persistent fevers; GI bleed; seizures...

Yesterday when I saw her, my colleague told me she was bleeding from every orifice. I didn't think it was that bad until I saw her. Her tracheostomy site (a hole in the neck that connects to the ventilator) was oozing and her entire neck and the bedsheets under her were soaked in blood. And the day before, she was found to be bleeding from her old IV site, her stools had blood and her right biliary drain was also draining blood. When I saw her in the puddle of blood around her neck yesterday, she looked beaten and drained. And she didn't look me in the eye. I couldn't imagine how she felt; lying there unable to do anything; but having your neck ooze out like that... I don't blame her if she didn't feel like responding...

Today, I went in to see her. Reading her lips, she said 'I am sick of being here' with the most dejected, hopeless look.

I held her fingers. She's younger than me by two years, and here she was whittling every day lying still confined to that bed; confined to the ventilator, having multiple doctors come in and out to see you; yet feeling so little has progressed...

I said to her 'You've been through so much. Since the day I started til today, I can see for myself that you've improved so so much. Your body is doing so much better. I want you to keep going, ok?'

She didn't say anything...

'Once you've progressed to a good level; we can transfer you up and get you moving and work towards getting out of here...'

She looked down, unbelieving.

Then, I squeezed her hand once more and I said 'It takes time; but you're getting there'

'And you're so pretty, I don't want to see a sad face, ok?' I gave her a little wink.

She looked at me and her lips curved into a little smile. She squeezed my fingers back in response.

I said 'That's good. I like to see you smile... :) So stay strong; and keep at it; ok?'

Having that hole in her throat and having only silent words come out is frustrating in the very least. But I felt as if half our conversation were just based on what came out through her eyes and a shared understanding of knowing that hope and comfort was what she needed most.

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
9:30 AM;;