Tempestuous ;;

and when she speaks

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Bought a foot-long oven-roasted chicken breast Subway burger for myself as I was walking home from the hospital. My dinner la...after the walk in the cold wind at a temp of 2C, I think the walk itself will burn off all the calories from the foot long SUB.
at least that's what I hope it'll do :)

Ate my dinner and fell asleep from 7pm to 3am. Went back to bed again at 5am and got up a wee bit late for hospital at 8.45am *shiiite* I didn't even realise I switched off my alarm, I'm on call this morning (Saturday), was supposed to be at the hospital @ 9am.

Am now sitting in the resident's lounge, writing this.

One more week of Cardio, before I head on to Dermatology. I am so glad I'm doing Derm before my exam. Huzai, you're right, I am tired, but I'm surviving- Ive got my whole stash of food here- Milo packet, Julie's peanut butter biscuits, Kit-Kat, peanut butter granola bars and one banana :)

So not a doctor's recommended diet :)

Rob cheekily said to me yesterday 'Sueyi, stop flirting with the patients'
This was after my 72-year old male patient came by and teased me. He said to my team the day before 'If he was single and young, he'd marry me'
I grin at the thought of the mischief my old-foggy patients can get up to, and the embarrassed, flushed face I show in front of my staff- who in turn, joined in and added 'Oh yes, but there's a whole long line of boys'

I can't let Rob have the last laugh. 'The old-foggies flirt with me! Anyway, they're the best people to flirt with ;)'

Rob laughs and shakes his head. Wait til' I catch him in action flirting around with his ladies'.

In the evening yesterday when I clerked a new patient, he said to me before I left 'You're going to be a great doctor'
On moments when I feel energy-less & restless, their sincere appreciation make me feel better of myself and re-affirm my strength to keep on working hard.

So it's true. They say it's your patients who keep you going on the days when things seem nightmarish.
Ironic isn't it?
You're supposed to be their support, but it turns out, your relationship with your patients is a symbiotic one. Both act as supports for one another. That's how the world works.

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
10:53 PM;;

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

I work hard in the hospital... though there are some days when I wake up, walk to the hospital and feel like I have no energy.

Nevertheless, I always give my best to all my patients. Most of the time, even though talking to them makes me come home later than usual, talking to them is always one of the things I look forward to, upon stepping foot into the hospital.

Last night when I was on call, I was paged to see a 17 year ol boy who was apparently having some respiratory distress. Upon seeing him, my heart went out to his mother who is constantly by his side. He laid there restless, immobilised... his whole lips were bloody with big, black blotches of dried crusted blood superimposed on the bloody lip, and he was just drooling all the way. He has no diagnosis as of yet... All blood tests that have come have so far been negative, and the doctors are scratching their heads and even ordering HIV tests as they have no clue what it could be.To make matters worse, his mother found out he's got a genital ulcer.

She broke down when I came to inspect him. I didn't say anything- all I did was ask her to take deep breaths and wrap my arms around her shoulder. I know it was difficult for her seeing her restless son- only 17; like this when he's supposed to have the whole world waiting for him to conquer. I can only hope they find out what's wrong and treat him soon.

Another patient of mine- an 88 year ol granny who wouldn't stop talking- she's an energiser bunny, that one. She says there's too many doctors who see her and she can't remember them except for me- because I'm special... awww isn't that sweet of her? cheeky ol' grandma :)

Another patient who looks like a tough guy, but when I read through his chart, I noticed he's asked for spiritual care to come see him... realising his fears are crippling him inside- that he's actually very very worried- something I couldn't see judging from his demeanour.

I know how working so long as a doctor- like my cardiologist, they tend to see through the worries of their patients, not because they don't care but because they see so many heart failure patients, heart attack patients and they operate on all their coronary arteries that they tell their patients 'Oh, you've got only 2 blocked arteries'... and their patients obviously freak out but the cardiologist sees no big deal in that... much to my surprise the first time i heard it from my cardiologist's mouth who said it so casually like it's just a little cut on your pee wee finger!

So I went to that patient of mine, talked to him, laughed with him and told him not to worry and we will cross the bridge together when we get there, hoping to allay at least a little of his fears... because I know, being the patient is a scary thing-and I never wish for anyone to be sick because of the uncertainty in a disease's course and the fears that are unleashed when a morbidly sounding diagnosis is told to you. It always makes me feel better knowing that they feel better too, after I have seen them :)

An old man said to Rob about me today; 'This young girl is going to be a smart doctor next time' :)

Note; he calls me a girl... ;)
Oh, I love all my patients so so much. So fond of them, despite calling me 'girl' and sometimes, mistaking me as a nurse :)

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
4:46 AM;;

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
4:44 AM;;

Monday, November 05, 2007

Hurricane storm passed us by-
Wasn't too bad apart from being cut off from the rest of the world for the whole of my Saturday and early Sunday since = no Internet :( and was pretty much under home arrest from the bad weather.

Thankfully, that went by quickly.

Daylight saving- rewound our clocks one hour earlier :)
Felt so weird when Kien Ji and I were walking and it was dark- and it was only 5.30pm!
Surreal as it was, we then turned away from walking home and walked further downtown :)

Yummyy, had my dose of ice-cream in what seemed like ages :)
could have gone for another one actually ;)

Went to study in the park and managed to force someone to come along, and that someone was productive too- managed to come up with lyrics for a song.
Have to say- the lyrics touched my heart. Meaningful and deep.

Am on call again tomorrow night :)
Cant wait to eat beef ball noodles, bak kut teh and mamak with everyone @ home soon!

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
8:45 AM;;