and when she speaks
Sunday, August 28, 2011
To find the universal elements enough; to find the air and water exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening saunter; to be elated over a bird's nest or a wildflower in spring-these are some of the rewards of the simple life -
John Burroughs.
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3:09 PM;;
I think if there's one thing I need to learn to do; it's to take better care of myself.
I have procrastinated the things on my list-to-do for so long, because of night shifts and sleep deprivation. I still have yet to close my sleep debt. But I feel it's such a waste, it's still warm out, I yearn so badly to want to make the best of it now, and at the back of my head, there's always that nagging thought that I only have months left in this amazing city, Chicago.
The next 3 years will see me in Washington D.C. My heart sinks when I think of leaving all the friends I've made here and the gorgeous city I live in. People are always asking me 'Aren't you excited Sueyi? Have you started looking for a place to live?' I shudder to think so far ahead. I'm not ready yet.
Not ready to pack up, move to a new city, and start over. Yes, I'm excited, thrilled at moving to another big city- but Chicago's treated me so well.
I want to sleep, breathe, live Chicago for my next few remaining months here- even if it means sacrificing sleep.
How bad does that sound?
Jyoti and I were on the phone today, talking about taking time off for ourselves- having a day just to do the things we need to, for our own well-being. I need to. She's right though, right now, we're not balanced - we're working so hard in the hospital, we're tired chronically, and we go out to meet our friends and please them (willingly and wholeheartedly, of course)- but to the extent, we put ourselves aside.
Today, it felt like that for me. I wanted so badly to check out the SummerDance Festival, but I fell asleep and woke up still tired. I wanted to go out with the 2nd years and party tonight, but my body can only let me do so much. I wanted to respond to all my text messages and go out and meet all of them. Some of whom I've let down (but I've tried, believe me) for not catching up sooner. I was sad, miserable, even down for a bit--- and after that conversation with Jyoti, it turns out we're in the same boat, feeling the same mixed emotions, being torn between going out doing all versus taking a chill pill for ourselves.
I'm all better now, putting things in perspective. How can we go out and give ourselves 100% if we're tired, and unbalanced holistically? I did catch a ballet performance at Millenium Park with Savio and we caught the fireworks from the ferris wheel at Navy Pier. It was beautiful, and not too tiring physically :)
Tomorrow is a new day. Looking forward to a well-rested night :)
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1:41 PM;;
A patient of mine was found on the Amtrak station, confused. When asked where he was going, he replied 'I'm going to take the train from CHicago to California to meet the President'- and so, he was brought in to the emergency department :) (laughs)
He was a sweetheart. Pleasantly demented, I'm sure, with a strong element of delirium. When I met him in person the first time, he had covered the blanket over his entire face and would not let it go. When I finally wrung it free, I noticed he was in soft wrist restraints.
We had absolutely no contact information to gather more information- from his family/friends/or about his home. But worked him UP- and it turns out, he had a UTI.
The next day, my intern asked him about who he lives with. He answered, his wife. When asked about medications he takes, he replied 'My wife is my medications'. And I thought that was the sweetest remark ever, from a confused person.
Now- that's a DEFINITE indication of love he has for his wife. Awwww :)
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1:36 PM;;
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1:32 PM;;
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1:27 PM;;
