Tempestuous ;;

and when she speaks

Saturday, January 31, 2009

"Your bed is making dirty noises, Sueyi"

Trina exclaimed cheekily.

WAIT. Before you all think otherwise (for the dirty pervs), she was rocking the bed with her big bum.

"Besides, you're sleeping on a man every night, too" - *raises eyebrows*
That man is none other than Al-Pacino. With his face on my blanket ;)

Ishrat replied, 'Trina, you're robbing Sueyi off her character'

I added; 'Yeah, you're robbing me off my innocence' with a mischievous gleam.

If my mum read this, I told them; 'She'd be with a whip!'

Ma... I am just joking yea ;)

I cannot wait to see you soon. Though I feel like staying here for awhile longer ;) It's too soon!
My friends have taken Sunday off to help me pack =) *soooooooo nice*

We're having a big fiesta tonight. I know this sounds extremely frivolous of me, but I was telling them 'I've been eating so much every night with you guys celebrating with cakes almost nightly and going out with my other friends/residents eating huge meals; please don't fatten me up before I head off. Let me do a crash diet this weekend'

Obviously, they ignored me and rolled their eyes, knowing me so darn well that that will never work.

Trina remarked sternly:

'No Sueyi. We're celebrating for you. You are going to have one big nice meal before you head home'

There goes that bloody stubborn waistline :p I love my friends =)

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
10:35 PM;;

Love is all around me.

I feel it everywhere in the air. In the moments I'm with my dearest friends and loved ones ;)

Joyous laughter. Crazy childish jokes. Huge smiling faces. Heads leaning on one another's shoulders. Bear hugs. Cheek kisses.

Dancing swirls in our living room. Big dinner feasts. Even yummier dessert cakes or home-made custard pies on a nightly basis. Grocery shopping trips. Horrible voices crooning to the songs being played in the background, thanks to Sueyi's insistence that they play on repeat ;) Walking together and cuddling in the cold waiting for the bus; hiding inside Subway's corner for warmth ;)

=)

I met up with Siraj for dinner tonight. He laughed the whole way through we were in the car... We reminisced the first time we worked together and he cannot believe I'm about to get my M.D. soon whilst he's doing 3rd year neurosurgery.

We went to one of the famous restaurants called Jane in the Commons' and he treated me to a fantabulous dinner. He laughed when I told him about all my stories... and adviced me after I told him all my experiences.

We shared our frustrations with how some foreign doctors were mistreated and looked down upon, and had to work doubly as hard to prove themselves... and our future pathways... and our love life (lol :p)

'Sueyi, you are beautiful, intelligent, and you're great at everything you do, you can do better than that. You deserve more...' his brotherly advice coming in. He shook his head and then, laughed with that grin he always gives. That grin only comes when I am misbehaving ;), or when I could have done better or when I deserve better.

I certainly hope his dreams come true seeing how hard he works. It's pretty impressive how he was immediately flown in a helicopter to another province to save a woman who just gave birth and was dying with severely increased intracranial pressure. He ran into the ICU and immediately drilled her skull open and stuck the drain in her ventricles and fluid just flowed out... Unfortunately, she didn't make it. He would have gotten famous overnight if she didn't pass on, he joked. Apparently, he would have phoned the press ;) *oh brother*

Drove me home and said he'd come visit me in Chicago. And gave me a big, gingerly hug =)

I came home and then, soon the two noisy girls followed suit. We all went grocery shopping in Walmart and Sobeys - and got a Checkered Cake for tonight =)

Sleepover time; they're hollering for me now *muacks*

Nephrology ended today. I had the best time there. Derek couldn't have been more wonderful as a resident. And Dr Hirsch was another sweetheart!

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
12:10 PM;;

Friday, January 30, 2009

I made Salad for lunch after Max made breakfast composing of two slices of bread with fried egg and tomatoes and lettuce, and after I had proceeded to nibble on the chocolate cake in our fridge ;)

I thought let's be healthy for lunch...since Trina also munched on the chocolate cake this morning ;)

Trina smiled after I had chopped the lettuce, tomatoes and carrots for her and mixed it up into *voila* OUR LUNCH today ;) and excitedly said 'Thank YOU, Sueyi!'

Next thing I know... she had to rush off to class. Max came to tell me he was eating her leftover salad because she didn't finish it.

She had spoken to him in their own language which I obviously didn't understand!
Now I know what she said... that little cheeky monster! -.-' I couldn't stop laughing though...

Max said 'She's just not a salad person'

Earlier on, she was telling her brother how salad isn't real human food. *laughs*

'She said to me thank god I have you here, brother....... If I live with her for a year, I think I'd have died'

I think that last sentence, that bugger made it up, just to peeve me -.-'

Now, we have shrimp in Thai sauce for dinner tonight ;)

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
4:02 AM;;

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Thanks MUM. *laughs in horror* Max already predicted that... -.-' You'll all see my pretty face soon and yes, MY chicken-backside non-stop babbling mouth ;) *muacks* which they have all here agreed that they are used to ;) *and happily don't mind too, might I add ;) *

I cannot believe how they can tahan me la. Even I myself am shocked. They said they're pretty easygoing and I said , "I know. The first day I came, you guys didn't kick me out ;)" *laughs cheekily* I'm seriously so pampered here; I should thank my lucky stars. During cold, windy mornings, I'd have a dear friend walking me to the hospital. When I'd have to walk for half an hour to the other hospital at 7 in the morning, I'd have company too. When it's slippery outside, I'd have someone beside me for extra support =)*gracias* =)

Thanks Cindy :) I'm glad it touched your heart strings the way it did mine.
A dear friend said to me once; it's alright to let it all out. That I don't always have to keep it in because that doesn't make me any less stronger than I am deep within.

I had dinner with my lovely ex-landlord's family last night after Melodie wrote the invite to me on facebook. I bought them a huge, yummy pecan chocolate cake - the night was wonderful. Andrea and Sophia gave me sweet kisses on my cheeks- and each of them were treated with chocolates ;) Lindsey and Daniel cooked dinner and the atmosphere was so merry with our laughter and sharing of jokes on the dining table. I stayed there for about 4 hours and didn't want to leave despite the snowstorm brewing outside ;) We hugged goodbye a few times and I thanked them for being my second family here; for taking such great care of me.

Dropped thank you letters to my letter writers and chocolates :) in Halifax Infirmary. Then, decided to go harass Boon and Sid for lunch ;)

All the doctors I'm working with in nephrology have been extremely wonderful and dedicated to teaching me... =) I absolutely love it !

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
11:58 AM;;

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Luther Vandross : Dance with my (Grand)father

"If I could steal one final glance
One final step, one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
Cause I'd love, love, love to dance with my grandfather again "

I fell asleep at 7pm tonight. Both my housemates were insistent I go to bed early tonight and one said I was burnt out.

I played this song and it fell on repeat. And the next thing I knew, under the duvet covers, a tear rolled down my side cheek... and thoughts strayed onto him...

I hadn't thought about him for awhile now.

Images of him flashed back.

When he cried on his wheelchair that morning in the airport saying goodbye to me, before I left back to Canada. I couldn't bear to pull apart from the hug I gave him when I saw his tears streaming. Instinctively, I knew why he cried. And that made it so much harder for me to let go.

The tears and cries the day his cortege left our house.

His room right outside our piano, where we four would gather and sing along to Syeyi's piano-playing every night after dinner... and he'd sit there watching us, listening attentively despite poor hearing... and laugh entertainingly. The songs we performed were always for him. To keep him occupied with music, instead of intrusive, disturbing thoughts about passing and death.

His love for X.O. alcohol. LoL. How we'd always find one new bottle of that in his room, cleverly hidden.

His natural authority with Johnny, our albino pekingese doggie ;)

The memory of him being put on the phone whilst I was urgently rushing back from the airport to the hospital and he was fast fading away... *damn the KL traffic jam*

I know, he waited for me. I flew home within a day of deciding- after he wouldn't slip away despite doctors' predictions... they said he might be waiting for something or someone. And so, I had to do what I was supposed to do. He was pronounced dead upon my arrival.

And I remember the image of mummy crying painfully by the bedside. And how my heart broke there and then. And my whispers into his ears that 'Ah Sue was home- your granddaughter who is going to be a doctor is home-for you' - but there wasn't any reaction.

I don't know why I am writing this... but I guess it was the song that evoked the memories and I just went on thinking how different it'd be when I'm home this time; he won't be there- for the very first time.

I remember how proud he was of me; telling every cousin who dropped by to visit the same ol' story over and over again. How young I was..How I left home at a tender age and did well.. How smart I was.. How I was going to be a brilliant doctor... He was so proud that I was going to be a doctor; the first in the family tree.

Yiyi told me he asked for me when he was delirious and sick in bed at home a few times...

I think that month was the hardest for me in Canada; being so far away and so uninvolved with his care. And feeling guilty.

I did once tell him to wait for me to graduate before leaving us behind. And he smiled...

Grandpa had the most infectious smile and laughter, I'd say.

In our hearts, you'll always remain.

I love you
"Goodnight gong"

xoxoxo

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
11:10 AM;;

His hand came out from behind and his smile grew wide; and his fingers wrapped into the handshake position.

My hand came out reflexively and our united grip was firm. The interview was fruitful and everything went perfectly well. "Thank you, doctor". (My doctor introduced me as Dr.Lai, hence that title)

A friend once told me the other day; you don't need reassurance from your patients to know you are doing a good job.

Deep inside, I know I am doing a good job. But it doesn't hurt to have that reaffirmed by their actions. In fact, it's downright positively satisfying =)

On another patient today in clinic, I asked 'So, how has your diet been?' casually.

No response I could elicit from that patient of mine. He is a 78 year old man with chronic renal failure.

I waited for a bit more; and raised my eyebrow. Then, shot him a stare for a second or two. And he smiled guiltily and then, laughed out loud! I knew it!! - He hasn't been behaving well; at all.

I usually cut them some slack because it's after Christmas and New Year... But I never walk out until I am done with my little "nagging" session on what constitutes a healthy diet ;)

Derek has got to be one of the nicest residents I have ever met! He sits down with me and teaches me everything he can think that's related to any of our patients. And he does it so patiently; so carefully organized that he goes through them step by step =) He always double checks with me, 'Sue, do you need anything? Do you have any questions?' He's so sweet!
And he says 'I've got cold hands like his wife' and then, went on to generalize that 'All women have cold hands!' -.-

I am going to miss nephrology. Everyone has asked me how long will I remain with them... I think I've had 3 different doctors asked me that today. As much as I love nephrology, I also cannot wait to go home =)

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
7:07 AM;;

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
7:04 AM;;

He shakes his head in amazement and remains deep in thought.

Then, he breaks the silence and says to me;

"Be the best in what you do, Sue"

"The world is your oyster"

He came outright and asked me moments ago " How old are you, Sue?" in the home dialysis clinic unit today. He was one of the hemodialysis nurses who taught me what to look for in each patient who came for a follow-up visit.

I laughed uneasily... 'I don't usually tell people my age' and he just stared, waiting for my reply.

"I just turned 21" ... and proceeded to tell him, if he were my patient, I wouldn't have divulged that and he smiled in return.

He told me "You have the world in front of you. You can do whatever you want. Anything at all"

and the continued... "No regrets at all"

and told me his theory:
"You can work and do well in your job for let's say, the next 10 years. And then, start having kids later on..."

I figured out just as much. And then, asked him: " So, did you settle down at a young age?"

The tone of the conversation became more thoughtful and serious.

"Yes I did. I got married at 22" and he went on for a bit.

I suspected he had a tinge of regret with all that... and having kids at a young age, was holding him from pursuing his dreams...

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
4:53 AM;;

Monday, January 26, 2009

'I'm going to find her a respectable man' I said about Trina ;) after Max retorted when I threatened to curl her hair if she doesn't come with us to the Jap New Year event in SMU.

... and then I continued cheekily, 'I'm on a M.a.n.h.u.n.t' for her and laughed mischievously ;)

He warned 'You'd better be careful. The 'hunter' might get 'hunted' for'

I thought that was very witty of me to come up with that term 'manhunt'.
Ah! Humor me lah, if you don't feel as amused as I do.

Dinner tonight was yummy but now, I can barely move. I indulged in dessert after Hugo ordered a chocolate indulgence cake which was damn sinful but oh god, pretty good -.-'

That's it. Starting tomorrow, I will be - healthy =)

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
9:30 AM;;

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
4:35 AM;;

Sunday, January 25, 2009

This morning, I was insistent 'Apple only' for breakfast.

Max decided on making French toast. But last night, I was craving for egg sandwich instead ;)

'I'm going to make french toast' he said.

'*hesitant* Hmmm... I wanted egg sandwich last night though..'
Then after some careful deliberation, 'Maybe... I'll just go for an apple'

As you can sense, it's not easy to resist the urges...

'Ok' he said and went on making french toast. He whipped up the pan and started stirring the egg batter with milk.

'On second thought, maybe I'll go for a bit of the french toast'

Sueyi's waving a white flag.

Later on, we're heading for the Japanese New Year celebration at Saint Mary's University. They have "a variety sample of Japanese snacks (rice cake, sweets, monchi), crafts, traditional games, dance, Calligraphy, Japanese badminton, Japanese tea ceremony, Ni Nin Baori (2 person clown act), Origami, and much more." =)

Then, dinner at Niche with Hugo.

Yesterday we had a session of badminton at Dalplex.

The boys were teasing me. Poor Boon wants badly to go home ;) *heheheh- evil laughter* He said I'd better not be putting up profile pictures on facebook! Day #1 : Sueyi with char kuey teow Day #2 Sueyi with wah tan hor Day #3 Sueyi with nasi lemak... Next thing you know; 'Boon and Sueyi are no more friends' on profile ;) *hahahaha*

Then, we headed off for Dinner at New Asia with the IMU juniors. Trina made me up so pretty; she curled my hair =) and it was done in record time too (only 15 minutes!) Jeremy phoned me up and we hadn't started and asked how long should he wait? I said 15 minutes and she did a wonderful job; it was gorgeous, lovely curls =) !! Max told me this morning that Trina told him that she wanted to bring a group of friends over just to see me (and then, he said not to get too big-headed :P) *laughs*

Then, dessert at Dairy Queens' and more medical conversations. Surprise Surprise ;) Sin Ling asked Jeremy (the only non-med person) 'So, what do normal people talk about?' -.-'

Bloody hell. Kok Lim is actually not all that of a 'kuai' innocent, quiet guy I thought he was. He wouldn't stop teasing me with the ice-cream (I was trying to resist all the ice-creams around me and chocolate waffles - OBVIOUSLY!) and trying to tempt me. Together with that lil monster BOON. Bloody hell. And Kok Lim only a year older than I am- is already engaged!!!

Anyway, the three monsters Boon, Sid and Jem walked me home... *thank goodness they all live near me* :) It's so nice having the XX chromosome la... *smiles* =D

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
10:57 PM;;