Call me Sueyi.
Call me Sue-Sue.
Call me Sue.
Just don't call me lil fry.

A 19 yr old :

Finding her niche in the passionate world of white coats and stethoscopes.

Missing Malaysian food so badly, that she drowns her sorrow by surfing food blogs.

Who watches scary movies only with friends who have high pain threshold (from all that pinching)

Who has very cold extremities, ask my stimulated patients, oops sorry, "simulated patients"

Who loves a good laugh with candid, thick-skinned friends

Who cannot stay surrounded by 4 walls for more than a few hours

Who loves her loved ones so so much


shout outs

endless wishes

char siew bao.

blueberry muffins.

hot Milo and crackers.

a neverending supply of Daddy's socks.

Bear hugs. Warm kisses. Lots of Love.

My own beach chalet.

Bubble baths.

Shining sun and rainbows.

Sexy stilettos.



I wear socks.Even with heels.

I play with my earlobes.

I have a Mongolian mole.

My family means the world to me. "Family means no one gets left behind"

I like cheekiness. You cheeky, me cheeky.

I heart my close friends, the ones who know me in and out, the ones who've grown with me.


July 1, 2007

July 8, 2007

July 15, 2007

July 22, 2007

July 29, 2007

August 5, 2007

August 12, 2007

August 19, 2007

August 26, 2007

September 2, 2007

September 9, 2007

September 16, 2007

September 23, 2007

September 30, 2007

October 7, 2007

October 14, 2007

October 21, 2007

October 28, 2007

November 4, 2007

November 11, 2007

November 18, 2007

November 25, 2007

December 2, 2007

December 9, 2007

December 16, 2007

December 23, 2007

January 6, 2008

January 13, 2008

January 20, 2008

January 27, 2008

February 3, 2008

February 10, 2008

February 17, 2008

February 24, 2008

March 2, 2008

March 9, 2008

March 16, 2008

March 23, 2008

March 30, 2008

April 6, 2008

April 13, 2008

April 20, 2008

April 27, 2008

May 4, 2008

May 11, 2008

May 18, 2008

May 25, 2008

June 1, 2008

June 8, 2008

June 15, 2008

June 22, 2008

June 29, 2008

July 6, 2008

July 13, 2008

July 20, 2008

July 27, 2008

August 3, 2008

August 10, 2008

August 17, 2008

August 24, 2008

August 31, 2008

September 7, 2008

September 14, 2008

September 28, 2008

October 5, 2008

October 12, 2008

October 19, 2008

October 26, 2008

November 2, 2008

November 9, 2008

November 16, 2008

November 23, 2008

November 30, 2008

December 7, 2008

December 14, 2008

December 21, 2008

December 28, 2008

January 4, 2009

January 11, 2009

January 18, 2009

January 25, 2009

February 1, 2009

February 8, 2009

February 15, 2009

February 22, 2009

March 1, 2009

March 8, 2009

March 15, 2009

March 22, 2009

March 29, 2009

April 5, 2009

April 12, 2009

April 19, 2009

April 26, 2009

May 3, 2009

May 10, 2009

May 17, 2009

May 24, 2009

May 31, 2009

June 7, 2009

June 14, 2009

June 21, 2009

June 28, 2009

July 5, 2009

July 12, 2009

July 19, 2009

July 26, 2009

August 2, 2009

August 9, 2009

August 16, 2009

August 23, 2009

August 30, 2009

September 6, 2009

September 13, 2009

September 20, 2009

October 4, 2009

October 11, 2009

October 18, 2009

October 25, 2009

November 1, 2009

November 8, 2009

November 22, 2009

November 29, 2009

December 6, 2009

December 13, 2009

December 20, 2009

January 31, 2010

February 28, 2010

March 14, 2010

March 21, 2010

March 28, 2010

April 4, 2010

May 9, 2010

May 23, 2010

May 30, 2010

June 6, 2010

July 11, 2010

July 18, 2010

July 25, 2010

August 1, 2010

August 8, 2010

August 15, 2010

August 22, 2010

August 29, 2010

September 5, 2010

September 26, 2010

October 3, 2010

October 10, 2010

October 17, 2010

October 24, 2010

October 31, 2010

November 7, 2010

November 14, 2010

November 21, 2010

November 28, 2010

December 5, 2010

December 19, 2010

December 26, 2010

January 9, 2011

January 16, 2011

January 23, 2011

February 13, 2011

February 20, 2011

February 27, 2011

March 6, 2011

March 13, 2011

March 20, 2011

April 3, 2011

April 10, 2011

April 24, 2011

May 15, 2011

May 22, 2011

May 29, 2011

June 5, 2011

June 19, 2011

July 10, 2011

July 17, 2011

July 24, 2011

July 31, 2011

August 7, 2011

August 14, 2011

August 28, 2011

September 4, 2011

September 11, 2011

September 18, 2011

September 25, 2011

October 2, 2011

October 16, 2011

October 23, 2011

October 30, 2011

November 6, 2011

November 13, 2011

November 20, 2011

January 8, 2012

January 29, 2012

February 5, 2012

March 11, 2012

March 18, 2012

March 25, 2012

July 8, 2012

July 22, 2012

August 5, 2012

August 12, 2012

September 2, 2012

September 16, 2012

September 30, 2012

October 7, 2012

October 14, 2012

October 21, 2012

October 28, 2012

November 11, 2012

September 8, 2013

September 29, 2013

January 5, 2014

January 26, 2014

February 16, 2014

July 27, 2014

August 17, 2014

August 24, 2014

November 16, 2014

December 7, 2014

February 22, 2015

March 1, 2015

and when she speaks

Saturday, January 31, 2009

"Your bed is making dirty noises, Sueyi"

Trina exclaimed cheekily.

WAIT. Before you all think otherwise (for the dirty pervs), she was rocking the bed with her big bum.

"Besides, you're sleeping on a man every night, too" - *raises eyebrows*
That man is none other than Al-Pacino. With his face on my blanket ;)

Ishrat replied, 'Trina, you're robbing Sueyi off her character'

I added; 'Yeah, you're robbing me off my innocence' with a mischievous gleam.

If my mum read this, I told them; 'She'd be with a whip!'

Ma... I am just joking yea ;)

I cannot wait to see you soon. Though I feel like staying here for awhile longer ;) It's too soon!
My friends have taken Sunday off to help me pack =) *soooooooo nice*

We're having a big fiesta tonight. I know this sounds extremely frivolous of me, but I was telling them 'I've been eating so much every night with you guys celebrating with cakes almost nightly and going out with my other friends/residents eating huge meals; please don't fatten me up before I head off. Let me do a crash diet this weekend'

Obviously, they ignored me and rolled their eyes, knowing me so darn well that that will never work.

Trina remarked sternly:

'No Sueyi. We're celebrating for you. You are going to have one big nice meal before you head home'

There goes that bloody stubborn waistline :p I love my friends =)

10:35 PM;;

Love is all around me.

I feel it everywhere in the air. In the moments I'm with my dearest friends and loved ones ;)

Joyous laughter. Crazy childish jokes. Huge smiling faces. Heads leaning on one another's shoulders. Bear hugs. Cheek kisses.

Dancing swirls in our living room. Big dinner feasts. Even yummier dessert cakes or home-made custard pies on a nightly basis. Grocery shopping trips. Horrible voices crooning to the songs being played in the background, thanks to Sueyi's insistence that they play on repeat ;) Walking together and cuddling in the cold waiting for the bus; hiding inside Subway's corner for warmth ;)


I met up with Siraj for dinner tonight. He laughed the whole way through we were in the car... We reminisced the first time we worked together and he cannot believe I'm about to get my M.D. soon whilst he's doing 3rd year neurosurgery.

We went to one of the famous restaurants called Jane in the Commons' and he treated me to a fantabulous dinner. He laughed when I told him about all my stories... and adviced me after I told him all my experiences.

We shared our frustrations with how some foreign doctors were mistreated and looked down upon, and had to work doubly as hard to prove themselves... and our future pathways... and our love life (lol :p)

'Sueyi, you are beautiful, intelligent, and you're great at everything you do, you can do better than that. You deserve more...' his brotherly advice coming in. He shook his head and then, laughed with that grin he always gives. That grin only comes when I am misbehaving ;), or when I could have done better or when I deserve better.

I certainly hope his dreams come true seeing how hard he works. It's pretty impressive how he was immediately flown in a helicopter to another province to save a woman who just gave birth and was dying with severely increased intracranial pressure. He ran into the ICU and immediately drilled her skull open and stuck the drain in her ventricles and fluid just flowed out... Unfortunately, she didn't make it. He would have gotten famous overnight if she didn't pass on, he joked. Apparently, he would have phoned the press ;) *oh brother*

Drove me home and said he'd come visit me in Chicago. And gave me a big, gingerly hug =)

I came home and then, soon the two noisy girls followed suit. We all went grocery shopping in Walmart and Sobeys - and got a Checkered Cake for tonight =)

Sleepover time; they're hollering for me now *muacks*

Nephrology ended today. I had the best time there. Derek couldn't have been more wonderful as a resident. And Dr Hirsch was another sweetheart!

12:10 PM;;

Friday, January 30, 2009

I made Salad for lunch after Max made breakfast composing of two slices of bread with fried egg and tomatoes and lettuce, and after I had proceeded to nibble on the chocolate cake in our fridge ;)

I thought let's be healthy for lunch...since Trina also munched on the chocolate cake this morning ;)

Trina smiled after I had chopped the lettuce, tomatoes and carrots for her and mixed it up into *voila* OUR LUNCH today ;) and excitedly said 'Thank YOU, Sueyi!'

Next thing I know... she had to rush off to class. Max came to tell me he was eating her leftover salad because she didn't finish it.

She had spoken to him in their own language which I obviously didn't understand!
Now I know what she said... that little cheeky monster! -.-' I couldn't stop laughing though...

Max said 'She's just not a salad person'

Earlier on, she was telling her brother how salad isn't real human food. *laughs*

'She said to me thank god I have you here, brother....... If I live with her for a year, I think I'd have died'

I think that last sentence, that bugger made it up, just to peeve me -.-'

Now, we have shrimp in Thai sauce for dinner tonight ;)

4:02 AM;;

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Thanks MUM. *laughs in horror* Max already predicted that... -.-' You'll all see my pretty face soon and yes, MY chicken-backside non-stop babbling mouth ;) *muacks* which they have all here agreed that they are used to ;) *and happily don't mind too, might I add ;) *

I cannot believe how they can tahan me la. Even I myself am shocked. They said they're pretty easygoing and I said , "I know. The first day I came, you guys didn't kick me out ;)" *laughs cheekily* I'm seriously so pampered here; I should thank my lucky stars. During cold, windy mornings, I'd have a dear friend walking me to the hospital. When I'd have to walk for half an hour to the other hospital at 7 in the morning, I'd have company too. When it's slippery outside, I'd have someone beside me for extra support =)*gracias* =)

Thanks Cindy :) I'm glad it touched your heart strings the way it did mine.
A dear friend said to me once; it's alright to let it all out. That I don't always have to keep it in because that doesn't make me any less stronger than I am deep within.

I had dinner with my lovely ex-landlord's family last night after Melodie wrote the invite to me on facebook. I bought them a huge, yummy pecan chocolate cake - the night was wonderful. Andrea and Sophia gave me sweet kisses on my cheeks- and each of them were treated with chocolates ;) Lindsey and Daniel cooked dinner and the atmosphere was so merry with our laughter and sharing of jokes on the dining table. I stayed there for about 4 hours and didn't want to leave despite the snowstorm brewing outside ;) We hugged goodbye a few times and I thanked them for being my second family here; for taking such great care of me.

Dropped thank you letters to my letter writers and chocolates :) in Halifax Infirmary. Then, decided to go harass Boon and Sid for lunch ;)

All the doctors I'm working with in nephrology have been extremely wonderful and dedicated to teaching me... =) I absolutely love it !

11:58 AM;;

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Luther Vandross : Dance with my (Grand)father

"If I could steal one final glance
One final step, one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
Cause I'd love, love, love to dance with my grandfather again "

I fell asleep at 7pm tonight. Both my housemates were insistent I go to bed early tonight and one said I was burnt out.

I played this song and it fell on repeat. And the next thing I knew, under the duvet covers, a tear rolled down my side cheek... and thoughts strayed onto him...

I hadn't thought about him for awhile now.

Images of him flashed back.

When he cried on his wheelchair that morning in the airport saying goodbye to me, before I left back to Canada. I couldn't bear to pull apart from the hug I gave him when I saw his tears streaming. Instinctively, I knew why he cried. And that made it so much harder for me to let go.

The tears and cries the day his cortege left our house.

His room right outside our piano, where we four would gather and sing along to Syeyi's piano-playing every night after dinner... and he'd sit there watching us, listening attentively despite poor hearing... and laugh entertainingly. The songs we performed were always for him. To keep him occupied with music, instead of intrusive, disturbing thoughts about passing and death.

His love for X.O. alcohol. LoL. How we'd always find one new bottle of that in his room, cleverly hidden.

His natural authority with Johnny, our albino pekingese doggie ;)

The memory of him being put on the phone whilst I was urgently rushing back from the airport to the hospital and he was fast fading away... *damn the KL traffic jam*

I know, he waited for me. I flew home within a day of deciding- after he wouldn't slip away despite doctors' predictions... they said he might be waiting for something or someone. And so, I had to do what I was supposed to do. He was pronounced dead upon my arrival.

And I remember the image of mummy crying painfully by the bedside. And how my heart broke there and then. And my whispers into his ears that 'Ah Sue was home- your granddaughter who is going to be a doctor is home-for you' - but there wasn't any reaction.

I don't know why I am writing this... but I guess it was the song that evoked the memories and I just went on thinking how different it'd be when I'm home this time; he won't be there- for the very first time.

I remember how proud he was of me; telling every cousin who dropped by to visit the same ol' story over and over again. How young I was..How I left home at a tender age and did well.. How smart I was.. How I was going to be a brilliant doctor... He was so proud that I was going to be a doctor; the first in the family tree.

Yiyi told me he asked for me when he was delirious and sick in bed at home a few times...

I think that month was the hardest for me in Canada; being so far away and so uninvolved with his care. And feeling guilty.

I did once tell him to wait for me to graduate before leaving us behind. And he smiled...

Grandpa had the most infectious smile and laughter, I'd say.

In our hearts, you'll always remain.

I love you
"Goodnight gong"


11:10 AM;;

His hand came out from behind and his smile grew wide; and his fingers wrapped into the handshake position.

My hand came out reflexively and our united grip was firm. The interview was fruitful and everything went perfectly well. "Thank you, doctor". (My doctor introduced me as Dr.Lai, hence that title)

A friend once told me the other day; you don't need reassurance from your patients to know you are doing a good job.

Deep inside, I know I am doing a good job. But it doesn't hurt to have that reaffirmed by their actions. In fact, it's downright positively satisfying =)

On another patient today in clinic, I asked 'So, how has your diet been?' casually.

No response I could elicit from that patient of mine. He is a 78 year old man with chronic renal failure.

I waited for a bit more; and raised my eyebrow. Then, shot him a stare for a second or two. And he smiled guiltily and then, laughed out loud! I knew it!! - He hasn't been behaving well; at all.

I usually cut them some slack because it's after Christmas and New Year... But I never walk out until I am done with my little "nagging" session on what constitutes a healthy diet ;)

Derek has got to be one of the nicest residents I have ever met! He sits down with me and teaches me everything he can think that's related to any of our patients. And he does it so patiently; so carefully organized that he goes through them step by step =) He always double checks with me, 'Sue, do you need anything? Do you have any questions?' He's so sweet!
And he says 'I've got cold hands like his wife' and then, went on to generalize that 'All women have cold hands!' -.-

I am going to miss nephrology. Everyone has asked me how long will I remain with them... I think I've had 3 different doctors asked me that today. As much as I love nephrology, I also cannot wait to go home =)

7:07 AM;;

7:04 AM;;

He shakes his head in amazement and remains deep in thought.

Then, he breaks the silence and says to me;

"Be the best in what you do, Sue"

"The world is your oyster"

He came outright and asked me moments ago " How old are you, Sue?" in the home dialysis clinic unit today. He was one of the hemodialysis nurses who taught me what to look for in each patient who came for a follow-up visit.

I laughed uneasily... 'I don't usually tell people my age' and he just stared, waiting for my reply.

"I just turned 21" ... and proceeded to tell him, if he were my patient, I wouldn't have divulged that and he smiled in return.

He told me "You have the world in front of you. You can do whatever you want. Anything at all"

and the continued... "No regrets at all"

and told me his theory:
"You can work and do well in your job for let's say, the next 10 years. And then, start having kids later on..."

I figured out just as much. And then, asked him: " So, did you settle down at a young age?"

The tone of the conversation became more thoughtful and serious.

"Yes I did. I got married at 22" and he went on for a bit.

I suspected he had a tinge of regret with all that... and having kids at a young age, was holding him from pursuing his dreams...

4:53 AM;;

Monday, January 26, 2009

'I'm going to find her a respectable man' I said about Trina ;) after Max retorted when I threatened to curl her hair if she doesn't come with us to the Jap New Year event in SMU.

... and then I continued cheekily, 'I'm on a M.a.n.h.u.n.t' for her and laughed mischievously ;)

He warned 'You'd better be careful. The 'hunter' might get 'hunted' for'

I thought that was very witty of me to come up with that term 'manhunt'.
Ah! Humor me lah, if you don't feel as amused as I do.

Dinner tonight was yummy but now, I can barely move. I indulged in dessert after Hugo ordered a chocolate indulgence cake which was damn sinful but oh god, pretty good -.-'

That's it. Starting tomorrow, I will be - healthy =)

9:30 AM;;

4:35 AM;;

Sunday, January 25, 2009

This morning, I was insistent 'Apple only' for breakfast.

Max decided on making French toast. But last night, I was craving for egg sandwich instead ;)

'I'm going to make french toast' he said.

'*hesitant* Hmmm... I wanted egg sandwich last night though..'
Then after some careful deliberation, 'Maybe... I'll just go for an apple'

As you can sense, it's not easy to resist the urges...

'Ok' he said and went on making french toast. He whipped up the pan and started stirring the egg batter with milk.

'On second thought, maybe I'll go for a bit of the french toast'

Sueyi's waving a white flag.

Later on, we're heading for the Japanese New Year celebration at Saint Mary's University. They have "a variety sample of Japanese snacks (rice cake, sweets, monchi), crafts, traditional games, dance, Calligraphy, Japanese badminton, Japanese tea ceremony, Ni Nin Baori (2 person clown act), Origami, and much more." =)

Then, dinner at Niche with Hugo.

Yesterday we had a session of badminton at Dalplex.

The boys were teasing me. Poor Boon wants badly to go home ;) *heheheh- evil laughter* He said I'd better not be putting up profile pictures on facebook! Day #1 : Sueyi with char kuey teow Day #2 Sueyi with wah tan hor Day #3 Sueyi with nasi lemak... Next thing you know; 'Boon and Sueyi are no more friends' on profile ;) *hahahaha*

Then, we headed off for Dinner at New Asia with the IMU juniors. Trina made me up so pretty; she curled my hair =) and it was done in record time too (only 15 minutes!) Jeremy phoned me up and we hadn't started and asked how long should he wait? I said 15 minutes and she did a wonderful job; it was gorgeous, lovely curls =) !! Max told me this morning that Trina told him that she wanted to bring a group of friends over just to see me (and then, he said not to get too big-headed :P) *laughs*

Then, dessert at Dairy Queens' and more medical conversations. Surprise Surprise ;) Sin Ling asked Jeremy (the only non-med person) 'So, what do normal people talk about?' -.-'

Bloody hell. Kok Lim is actually not all that of a 'kuai' innocent, quiet guy I thought he was. He wouldn't stop teasing me with the ice-cream (I was trying to resist all the ice-creams around me and chocolate waffles - OBVIOUSLY!) and trying to tempt me. Together with that lil monster BOON. Bloody hell. And Kok Lim only a year older than I am- is already engaged!!!

Anyway, the three monsters Boon, Sid and Jem walked me home... *thank goodness they all live near me* :) It's so nice having the XX chromosome la... *smiles* =D

10:57 PM;;