and when she speaks
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Tuesday, August 09, 2011
IN everyone's life, at some point, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flames by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful to those people who rekindle the inner spirit- Albert Schweitzer.
Yesterday, my whole body started aching. The typical viral prodrome. Malaise. Myalgias. Arthralgias. Chills. Hot on the outside but freezing within my core.
The last time I had something like this, I believe was when I was in NYC during my 4th year medical electives- where I basically laid in bed, in pain, unable to move. (And, of course, utterly sad and depressed-) I remember though, the silver lining was late at night, I had a wonderful friend come over with hot porridge. Friends like that don't come by easy. I was really lucky to have them by my side.
By early afternoon today, I was freezing despite wearing a thermal and a singlet underneath my long sleeved thermal. I crashed in a call room, and woke up with a bright red burning hot face. The nurse checked my temp- Christine said to get my vitals checked- she joked and said maybe I'll again end up in the emergency department (and get admitted to her!).
My spirits were down today. I didn't have the energy to be the usual bubble of excitement and joy around my friends. I felt miserable.
I was close to tears when things later in the day didn't turn out so well-my train stop's CTA machine was not working, I had to walk at least another 6 miles when it started to drizzle, over to Cook County's side. People were pushing in the crowded train when I reached my stop, and my shoe slipped off, and they got annoyed cos I was looking for it- but couldn't find it- thankfully, someone passed it up to the front. Then, I broke my water filter at home- I don't know how I dropped it and it fell. All these things happening and the fact that I still felt really cold, with chills, didn't help.
I know for a fact, when my patients don't feel well, they tend to revert to child-like behaviors sometimes, and I know I myself lose control of my own emotions when I don't feel well. I definitely am more emotional and get more easily overwhelmed.
As I'm writing this, I feel better. I made ginger soup with sesame tong yuen- my favorite- what mum always whips up for me when I am home :) My fever has broken.
Hence, I am happier now. I am starting to sweat- which is a great sign. I know it's probably from the tylenol- but the chills are less severe now than earlier today!
I know - if mum is aware of this, she'd force me to drink that disgusting same old bitter black Chinese medicine to "heat my body up" - because back then, the doctors had figured out that my body became cold really easily. *bah*
Onto my tong yuen :)