Call me Sueyi.
Call me Sue-Sue.
Call me Sue.
Just don't call me lil fry.

A 19 yr old :

Finding her niche in the passionate world of white coats and stethoscopes.

Missing Malaysian food so badly, that she drowns her sorrow by surfing food blogs.

Who watches scary movies only with friends who have high pain threshold (from all that pinching)

Who has very cold extremities, ask my stimulated patients, oops sorry, "simulated patients"

Who loves a good laugh with candid, thick-skinned friends

Who cannot stay surrounded by 4 walls for more than a few hours

Who loves her loved ones so so much


shout outs

endless wishes

char siew bao.

blueberry muffins.

hot Milo and crackers.

a neverending supply of Daddy's socks.

Bear hugs. Warm kisses. Lots of Love.

My own beach chalet.

Bubble baths.

Shining sun and rainbows.

Sexy stilettos.



I wear socks.Even with heels.

I play with my earlobes.

I have a Mongolian mole.

My family means the world to me. "Family means no one gets left behind"

I like cheekiness. You cheeky, me cheeky.

I heart my close friends, the ones who know me in and out, the ones who've grown with me.


July 1, 2007

July 8, 2007

July 15, 2007

July 22, 2007

July 29, 2007

August 5, 2007

August 12, 2007

August 19, 2007

August 26, 2007

September 2, 2007

September 9, 2007

September 16, 2007

September 23, 2007

September 30, 2007

October 7, 2007

October 14, 2007

October 21, 2007

October 28, 2007

November 4, 2007

November 11, 2007

November 18, 2007

November 25, 2007

December 2, 2007

December 9, 2007

December 16, 2007

December 23, 2007

January 6, 2008

January 13, 2008

January 20, 2008

January 27, 2008

February 3, 2008

February 10, 2008

February 17, 2008

February 24, 2008

March 2, 2008

March 9, 2008

March 16, 2008

March 23, 2008

March 30, 2008

April 6, 2008

April 13, 2008

April 20, 2008

April 27, 2008

May 4, 2008

May 11, 2008

May 18, 2008

May 25, 2008

June 1, 2008

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June 15, 2008

June 22, 2008

June 29, 2008

July 6, 2008

July 13, 2008

July 20, 2008

July 27, 2008

August 3, 2008

August 10, 2008

August 17, 2008

August 24, 2008

August 31, 2008

September 7, 2008

September 14, 2008

September 28, 2008

October 5, 2008

October 12, 2008

October 19, 2008

October 26, 2008

November 2, 2008

November 9, 2008

November 16, 2008

November 23, 2008

November 30, 2008

December 7, 2008

December 14, 2008

December 21, 2008

December 28, 2008

January 4, 2009

January 11, 2009

January 18, 2009

January 25, 2009

February 1, 2009

February 8, 2009

February 15, 2009

February 22, 2009

March 1, 2009

March 8, 2009

March 15, 2009

March 22, 2009

March 29, 2009

April 5, 2009

April 12, 2009

April 19, 2009

April 26, 2009

May 3, 2009

May 10, 2009

May 17, 2009

May 24, 2009

May 31, 2009

June 7, 2009

June 14, 2009

June 21, 2009

June 28, 2009

July 5, 2009

July 12, 2009

July 19, 2009

July 26, 2009

August 2, 2009

August 9, 2009

August 16, 2009

August 23, 2009

August 30, 2009

September 6, 2009

September 13, 2009

September 20, 2009

October 4, 2009

October 11, 2009

October 18, 2009

October 25, 2009

November 1, 2009

November 8, 2009

November 22, 2009

November 29, 2009

December 6, 2009

December 13, 2009

December 20, 2009

January 31, 2010

February 28, 2010

March 14, 2010

March 21, 2010

March 28, 2010

April 4, 2010

May 9, 2010

May 23, 2010

May 30, 2010

June 6, 2010

July 11, 2010

July 18, 2010

July 25, 2010

August 1, 2010

August 8, 2010

August 15, 2010

August 22, 2010

August 29, 2010

September 5, 2010

September 26, 2010

October 3, 2010

October 10, 2010

October 17, 2010

October 24, 2010

October 31, 2010

November 7, 2010

November 14, 2010

November 21, 2010

November 28, 2010

December 5, 2010

December 19, 2010

December 26, 2010

January 9, 2011

January 16, 2011

January 23, 2011

February 13, 2011

February 20, 2011

February 27, 2011

March 6, 2011

March 13, 2011

March 20, 2011

April 3, 2011

April 10, 2011

April 24, 2011

May 15, 2011

May 22, 2011

May 29, 2011

June 5, 2011

June 19, 2011

July 10, 2011

July 17, 2011

July 24, 2011

July 31, 2011

August 7, 2011

August 14, 2011

August 28, 2011

September 4, 2011

September 11, 2011

September 18, 2011

September 25, 2011

October 2, 2011

October 16, 2011

October 23, 2011

October 30, 2011

November 6, 2011

November 13, 2011

November 20, 2011

January 8, 2012

January 29, 2012

February 5, 2012

March 11, 2012

March 18, 2012

March 25, 2012

July 8, 2012

July 22, 2012

August 5, 2012

August 12, 2012

September 2, 2012

September 16, 2012

September 30, 2012

October 7, 2012

October 14, 2012

October 21, 2012

October 28, 2012

November 11, 2012

September 8, 2013

September 29, 2013

January 5, 2014

January 26, 2014

February 16, 2014

July 27, 2014

August 17, 2014

August 24, 2014

November 16, 2014

December 7, 2014

February 22, 2015

March 1, 2015

and when she speaks

Friday, January 23, 2009

I am in love with James Morrison and his new song; Broken Strings.

I reconnected with my past today; and walked down memory lane reading my old blog posts. The experiences that I've had since coming to Canada has done so much to me, and for me.

I've grown up, so much.
And explored a great deal about myself.
Year 2008 was the year I really made a mark for myself in the things I did, the dreams I pursued and tried it out on my own ;)

"What's the achievement that you're most proud of ?" the John Hopkins interviewer asked me.

"The fact that I've been able to carry my own since young. It's not my academic achievements that I'm most proud of, but the growth that I've experienced...the fact that I've been able to survive and adapt well into new environments with different values and cultures and done well in them. I've left home to study in Australia at 14, then left again for Canada and now, the United States, and I'm proud of how much I've learnt. I've learnt to stand up for myself, be independent and make my own decisions. I wanted to try and see if I could survive just about anywhere and I have done so and even, managed to carve a name for myself in each of my niches, and I'm most proud of that."

I have done some weird & wacky, some downright fun stuff, and some really fulfilling things in 2008:-

1. Braving riding a bike (yes I am terrified of cycling!), with a dear friend Harprit ;) I rode pillion on the bicycle with him in the gorgeous, scenic Point Pleasant Park up the hill and back down again. Obviously, I was screaming and holding on for dear life! But came back safely in one peace and actually had fun against the wind current ;)

2. Well- this isn't exactly wacky but what the heck- (I r.a.r.e.l.y. cook ;P) Cooked a new recipe. Hau Jia (& Max) semi-forced me into cooking, because I was the only one who hadn't cooked in the group, apart from Wy-Men. So basically, it was a no-say decision. I had to cook for them, and boy-did I stress out ;) Cos they're all great cooks and I can only cook to save my life! I cooked Cashew Chicken (boleh tahan la...) with some constructive criticism which was greatly appreciated ;)

3. Wore a skanky, outrageously immodest outfit for Halloween '08 in New York. Was co-erced into buying one. And so, I arrived at the scene as a red-haired French maid equipped with a duster ;) with dear Ai-Ping as my partner in crime.

4. Found a mentor in one of my brilliant teachers in Cornell - New York Presbytarian Hospital who has agreed happily to guide me along my residency :) He's is an undeniably brilliant doctor and one with a big heart.

5. Went to New York despite mummy worrying and voicing out her concerns for me. I knew nobody there til weeks before I arrived, thanks to the Malaysian community I found through facebook and google :) Of course, I know many people were concerned for me, worrying I would trust people naively and get myself into trouble... but I was always on guard and followed my sixth sense strongly. I went there knowing fully that after hearing two extremes of opinions about NYC, I had to explore this city and live in it for myself to know for certain. I had to give it a try, to satisfy my curiousity. Daddy said to me 'Sue, you're only young once. Go live in a big city - you've lived in enough small places ie Perth in Australia and Halifax in Nova Scotia.' He was right. I did it- and I had a blast. Now, mummy doesn't even worry and call all that often! (which I miss, surprisingly! Sometimes I even call her up and ask her why she doesn't call me... after I have travelled here and there! :p) The experience there itself taught me was possibly one of the best teachers of life lessons for me.

6. Forged lasting friendships with a few close friends from my class, a few residents whom are some of my best buddies and who are always there to kick my butt, guide and motivate, non-medical friends who have been my biggest support group, especially during exams & stressful times, the people in hospitals whom I've worked with in New York, international friends (during my electives and interview trails) and my New York friends who's been so supportive and wonderful :) I've lost touch with a few, but have managed to stay close to most of my friends... *muacks*

7. Achieved 99 for both my USMLEs. Step 1 and 2 CK :)

8. Learnt how to deal with dying patients and their families through Palliative Care. The main reason behind doing PC was more importantly, to learn how to deal with pain in cancer patients. I felt I needed it because should people close to me suffer from that, pain is the last thing I want them to have before they leave this world.

9. Realised what I would like in a relationship and in a man. It's a compromised effort; and I won't jump into one, until I know I'm ready to commit and it's with someone whom I share that special chemistry with.

10. Going all out to pursue my dreams and goals. And in being the best I can be when it comes to my professional responsibilities. Had a lot of fun working with the patients I've dealth with. You name it- hernia clinic where I got males to drop their pants everyday. STIs clinics where I basically burn off warts on penises or bums, crazy schizophrenics, downright depressed, manics, cute old foggies, strong and courageous patients......

11. Learn how to deal gracefully and maturely with disappointment, rejection and harsh critics who sometimes just want to make your life miserable.

12. Promised myself that I'll be the best doctor I can be, and that promise goes to someone close to my heart; ie to my dearest grandfather who passed away last year in June. I promise to never be jaded and lose the compassion within me.


5:56 AM;;

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Someone paged me at 5pm today.
I rushed to my beeping pager!

This happened when I was at home.

I then anxiously phoned the hospital... I have no phone, the friends I wanted to meet up only have my pager number to contact me. So this was important.

No one picked it up. I phoned a friend to ask her how to page from the outside. And I then paged again that number. And twice; a woman picked up. And said that she had just passed by and only answered it as it was ringing...

Then, I narrowed down who I thought it could have been.

I phoned that person ;) Turns out my instincts were right. It was Rob. My favorite buddy resident.

He picked me up and we went for Thai dinner after I had just finished a whole cup of dessert with three scoops of ice cream; which Max made! But I had wanted to meet Rob before I leave. He's one of my favorite buddies here.

So we hung out- and ate lots!! Rob knows me too darn well; and how much I can eat. After all, when we were on cardiology, we would sneak in to conferences together for food *heheh* HOO BOY, this is embarrassing to reveal ;) Then, he teased me and said we'd go for dessert-ice cream. I poked him and said 'You're out to sabotage me!!' He said I'm so tiny... Hahaha... I told him that's why I like Canada and US so much cos I'm considered so small here ;)

He advised me on being careful before dating residents when I've just started my residency... and to know someone for more than months before starting out a relationship. It's so funny when he starts being serious, but I know he means well and is watching out for me.

I had such a great time with him. He parked his car outside the apartment and walked me - even though the car was like 2 feet away from the entrance cos he said he wanted to hug me. Aww...

He gave me a tight squishy hug and said goodbye. I'll definitely miss the good times we had ;)

9:10 AM;;

Auntie Fei Tze occasionally drops by on facebook to say HI and to ask how I'm doing, which is so so sweet of her =)

I made a collage of my parents for their anniversary :) And I can't wait for them to see it :) Hence, the love quote in the previous post cos' I was going around searching for quotes on love and for anniversaries :)

Today, Dr Kiberd looked at my ID tag after I presented my patient to him and he asked me, 'You're a med student?'

I brimmed a big smile. 'Yes I am' =D He thought I was the resident :)

I love how I am learning so much everyday; being so hands-on. Basically, taking on the role of a resident. It makes me feel useful, you know ;) to be actually doing something that people appreciate. I love the doctors that I'm working with as well =D

I had one patient today who thanked me profusely and shook my hand. And shook it twice vigorously. And then, put his hand to his heart and repeatedly said 'Thank you, thank you'... He was so cute. When I asked him 'You have constipation? Diarrhea?' He answered 'Yes, yes' with a humongous smile- not really understanding what I said due to his poor command of English. LOL.

And anther young 19 year old patient who is doing extremely well since her kidney transplant two weeks ago. It's so nice to see a young person get a second chance at life; with renewed zest and energy to pursue life. You can see how happy both her and her mum were; the smiles on their faces; the gratitude they feel, and the joy for the opportunity to be healthy and alive... I'll never know how she feels - but watching them sure left me feeling all warm and fuzzy :)

I had another patient who is massively obese and his blood pressure has not been well-controlled, his sugar levels have been skyrocketing, his weight has gone up by 70 pounds in the last year. He's got congestive heart failure and has profound shortness of breath; even just walking to the bathroom. He's nearly blind and has hearing difficulties and he's only in his mid-50s. I put my hand on his shoulder and commended some of the positive aspects on the lab work but I knew that he would have to be told the blatant truth; that if he does not lose weight and start eating healthily; he would die in the next few years - from a stroke or a heart attack. I hate being the bad guy; but I want what's best for him. I know how hard it is. I myself struggle with food temptations ;) But this is already beyond control; this will determine his mortality.

My doctor said to him 'We're chasing your tail here. We are fighting against each other. And I don't want that. We can give you all the medications to help you but it won't work if you start overeating those medications...I want you to have another 15 years down the road' and patted him...

My patient laughed but I could see from his eyes, there was honest fear. and doubt if he has the strength to achieve that. and fear if he'll die soon if he does not.

I felt for him. When my doctor was talking to someone else, I went to my patient and spoke to him, 'Mr.S, we'll be increasing your Lasix medication to help you breathe better. And you're going to start exercising more for us, ok?' and prior to my doctor coming in, I had been educating my dear patient. 'Mr. S, I know it's hard, but it's so important for you to be eating healthily. Losing weight can help your breathing and your energy levels and you'll feel so much better'...

I emphasised on a diet that was low in salt, in calories and in sugar- for his diabetes control, blood pressure control and weight control. Over and over again, hoping that it'll drill in somehow.

I guess he could see the effort I was putting. I was really trying. And hoping.

At the end of our consultation, he shook my doctor's hand and touched me on my shoulder and smiled. I can only hope he'll give it a shot. And give himself that chance.

Sometimes, all we need is a little bit of encouragement and support from someone to give us that little bit of confidence to know that we can do it. And you know what, I think everyone deserves that.

4:54 AM;;

4:20 AM;;

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat,
or will stay awake just to watch you sleep...

wait for the boy who kisses your forehead,
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends,
who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on.
One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU...
The one who turns to his friends and says, "thats her"....

8:52 AM;;

Learn from yesterday. Live for today. Hope for tomorrow.

6:47 AM;;

Monday, January 19, 2009

Badminton yesterday.
Met up with Boon, Sin Ling, Sid and the new guy whom I call Jem for Jeremy ;)

Turns out my badminton skills isn't that rusty after all ;)

Though someone was right. All that jumping and using the wrong body parts for hitting the shuttlecock got me all sore today in my hips, my thighs and my arms -.-

Turns out all the bubble of energy I had worked in favor for scoring in badminton together with my excellent partner ;) We all had LOTs of fun!

So now, we've all arranged for badminton to be our weekly Saturday noon activity :) *joy*

We had a mini IMU reunion with the juniors and had dinner in Gatsby later that night.

Came home and ZiShan was entertainingly random. And Max made SUPPER *how to lose weight- I'm fighting a losing battle here* ;)

He made extremely de-lish pasta and baked garlic bread! I couldn't resist... :)

This morning, I met up with Hugo, for coffee. He brought my pictures for me and bought me a bag of Starbucks chocolate truffles for mistaking our coffee meet-up day, which was nice of him.

Absolutely gorgeous pictures he took from Lake Como from his conference in Italy. Milan and Lake Como is definitely on my must visit places. The sceneries from the pictures he took were absolutely breathtaking.

We caught The Wrestler and that movie was so moving. I caught a glimpse of the life of a wrestler, I used to think it was such a frivolous sport. But now I see there's more to it than that. For some of them, it's their only means of earning a living. Once their life span as a wrestler runs out, that usually means they have either been physically damaged by all the injuries or become too old for the sport to withstand all the physical abuse and the pain. It can be heartbreaking when they lose all that matters, in the end...

Snowstorm warning tonight- 20cm of snow! Stay in and curl up :)

7:59 AM;;

2:27 AM;;