and when she speaks
Friday, October 03, 2008
Mum, I know you'll be reading this.I want you to know, I know you want the best for me and worry for me...But I don't want you to worry because that's the reason why I always come and seek your advice after all.Time after time I involve you and I let you know what's happening and all the decisions that I've made- it's because I respect your experiences and trust your judgement and know you are only being the best mum you can be.And I know, the phone call this morning- that was me letting you know how I really felt inside- confused. But that was all. And it's all clear now.I know what it was, and I always do this to myself- you know it never lasts.I've always maintained my level-headedness, especially in this matter.I know what my aspirations are and I know what I deserve.Love you, mum.Don't worry anymore ok? ;)And really, I know how to take care of myself.If not, I wouldnt have phoned you, would I? Don't worry, my principles always remain strong and I never make rash decisions.In fact, I think I THINK too much :)
her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
10:04 AM;;
Sometimes I yearn to do the curious. To please that side of me that is unexplored.But I've learnt it's always better to err on the cautious.And stay on the safe harbor lines.To not venture beyond the uncertain.I'm torn.But I always bow down and listen to those who have taken more salt and gone through with more winding journeys than mine and whose experiences have taught them wisely.I hate it... But their words of advice are well-meaning wisdom and have always ensured everything I've dreamed of goes smooth-sailing.
her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
9:16 AM;;
Thursday, October 02, 2008
My mind's playing games on me.And I hate it.I can't wait to meet up with the rest of the Malaysians here, who've been in contact with me through email/student groups.And explore Times Square :)*argh* I have got so much work to do.Dermatology presentation. New personal statements. New residency applications. Residency photo. Lunch with friends. Dinner with new friends. Shopping with girlfriend- necessary for interview clothes! Shifting apartment to live with other NYU med students... OH AND STUDY for my second US medical licensing exam.... *shite*
her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
8:36 AM;;
It has been such a fun & fulfilling trip to Philly. I'm so glad I switched my USMLE Step 2 CS from Chicago to Philadelphia.I couldn't have had a more enjoyable time...Also, *hehe* it was so nice being pampered and taken care of. No need to be self-sufficient and self-reliant (especially with regards to directions and food preparation ;) ) Thank you Chee =) He's been the perfect host.Quote from CHee- 'See how nice I am? You cant get guys like me anymore!' ;pI had the best time, I seriously didn't want to leave. I don't know if that was the reason I had the knots in my tummy right before boarding the bus...Gave my shelter provider and food provider a big squishy hug before stepping into the bus.Unfortunately, before yesterday's exam - I had a bout of diarrhea x 4. I thought it was bowel hyperactivity from the nervousness which is typical for me. But I also had some of Chee's Oreo's drink - and I'm partially milk intolerant- and the diarrhea is still going on today. Chee said it could be traveller's diarrhea. I'm wondering if I ate something he didn't!We had dim sum for lunch today and you can tell Sue Sue isn't feeling well when her appetite is suddenly not as ravenous as per normal; that's a VERY concerning sign!Anyway, bought red bean buns and custard bun and hot dog buns before I left Philly :) The exam yesterday went really well. I arrived early; saw two foreign medical graduates already sweating profusely, moving about uncomfortably in their seats with anxiety and looking very nervous. They said HI; and we sat together in the waiting room as we were an hour early.They must have been thinking 'Who is this young lil' ciku walking in looking 'damn chilled' ?'One of them asked me ' Don't mind me asking you, how old are you?'I laughed.... Didn't answer.The second one guessed '22'.I lied and said after hesitating a bit 'You're actually spot on'.I turn 21 in December. They're much older... than I am. One was from Pakistan and the other is already a very experienced doctor from India.Anyway, I had an Erectile Dysfunction patient in one of the cases and in one of the study books I read; you're supposed to ask :'Can you rate your penile erection for me on a scale from 0-10? If 0 was flaccid and 6 was adequate for penetration?'As I said it, I tried to look as professional as I could; feeling a wee bit unused to probing about people's erectile problems...HECK.He said 'No no... I don't do that..'THE BOOK SAID TO ASK THAT!Anyway, I did really well... he wasn't angry, I think his script didn't include an answer for that; that's why ;)The exam was from 3pm to 11pm at night- yeah, it's 8 hours long.I finished at 10.15pm. Chee being the gentleman offered to take the bus to come pick me up.My mum was really concerned before the exam, asking me to ask Chee if he would mind picking me up because it was away and late at night and I was unfamiliar with the place... I didn't ask him though.It was nice when he offered during lunch.Funnily enough, a gentleman should be doing that, but I've had enough of bad experiences with guys whom have disappointingly underperformed in terms of being a true gentleman; hence I now have a much lower expectation... and usually try not to ask a guy for help, unless I know they're those whom you can count on always :)Anyway, I was walking home with another med student from Colombia... and he offered to walk me to the bus stop down two blocks away. I said 'Thank you, but really, you don't have to'.There were lights around and he really didn't need to...Then, he gave me a peck on my cheek- it must be true blue Colombian style...and said BYE.And I only just met him after we finished the exam and walked out together!Anyway, I'm debating whether he's gay or not. He sounded really nice, and a bit soft...maybe ;)But the peck was a sweet surprise. I love when people are so free with emotions- when they're liberal with hugs and cheek pecks- it reminds me of home; you know, when mum hugs you tight and when dad gives me good night kisses. The warm love --- so liberal and so open...if you know what I mean :)Back in NYC now in Ai Ping's room. Poor girl is still down with the pesky viral bug.Back to work tomorrow...*arghhh*diarrhea time again......... ;(' lol.
her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
6:38 AM;;
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
As I'm here in Chee's room trying to study for USMLE step 2 Cs tomorrow, whilst he's off to work in the lab, I'm failing miserably in trying to concentrate... hehehe =)Instead, I started off pulling out the choc chips off his muffins, then ending up devouring one whole giant chocolate-rich muffin =) Which was so satisfying!And that was after our Penang Malaysian lunch down at Chinatown :)I've had so much fun here in Philly, eating endlessly- entering all the little shops in Chinatown, loving all the oh-so-sweet familiar bakeries smell and enjoying my egg tarts :)I stopped at almost every shop in Chinatown and being so deprived of all things Chinese back in Hali, I dragged Chee and squealed at all the things I haven't seen for so long -*laughs*I taught him how to appreciate those things... he never really paid attention to them before- SEE! DOn't take things for granted. He's learnt well - heheh ;)I've had so much to eat. I had the famous roasted duck with rice here for brunch when I just arrived. Then, we had egg tarts and pineapple bun ( PO LO PAU) :) and then dinner was a chipotle burger with chips at Moriarty's... And a walk down Penn's Landing with a beautiful view of the harbor front!The very next day, we had Dim Sum with 3 of our seniors here :) Then, we had ice cream at the top 5 ice cream places in the US- it cost us a bomb! I had cappuchino and basio (chocolate with hazelnut) and Chee had the weirdest combo- don't ask me why... he had PEAR and mocha. He said after finishing the ice-cream like 10 minutes after I finished mine 'I also don't know why I ordered PEAR; it didnt go very well with mocha' .... *aiyor*.... ;)Then, we had Qdobas with Desmond. Who spent his collected points on our dinner, so dinner was courtesy of dear ol' Desmond. Thank U! Huge burrito :) Mmmm.... We watched The Love Guru last night- seriously, it was one of the lamest movies... then it was girly gossip time. This CHEE- is as Vain as me! ANd does more shopping than me! ;)Here I am.. trying to fit in as much things as I can in this post- I've been too lazy to update. =) Back to studying for Step 2 ... Exam's TOMORROW!!! *muacks*I survived my first week in NYC waking up early commuting everyday to and fro to the hospital, working hard. I got lost endless times, but always found my way- :) Heck, now I'm just going to enjoy letting someone take charge of the directions :) and enjoy being looked after :)hahahahaThe joys of having such a wonderful friend :)
her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
2:03 AM;;
