and when she speaks
Thursday, March 06, 2008
My last few days with my patients on Mayflower Unit in Nova Scotia Hospital...
It's 8pm. I just came down from the 3rd floor of the psych ward.
And I satisfied myself with 2 gigantic oatmeal chocolate chip raisin cookies, which I baked together with my other patients and Jim :)
If you're wondering why am I still in the hospital at this hour- it's because I'm on call.
I was lonely down in the basement floor, in my own room, with the cold wet rain banging down hard on the windowpanes.
So I thought I'd visit them upstairs, and plus they were going to have a baking session at 7pm :)
I popped in there. Had wonderful chats with all of my patients and other patients as well... who had fascinating stories about what they do outside, some of 'em taught me a thing or two about life. Really, when they're on their meds, they are just like any of us... some comical, some really motherly, some with cool hobbies - like making a brand new car out of an old one, refurbishing it with Scottish cowskin and white leather ;) They keep me company and I enjoy having meaningful conversations with them.
One of my patients and I have bonded really well. She was so sick when I first came 3 weeks ago, still delirious, always agitated, highly depressed... Now, she's like a mother/grandmother to me. We'd be talking and laughing... I'd sometimes share stories about my other stubborn sick patients... I've been there for her for a minor ingrown toenail surgery... She comes to me with concerns about 'hearing voices telling her she cannot make friends' or how she's anxiously not feeling herself...And I'll be her support pillar-everday, encouraging her, reassuring her-giving her the motivation she needs to kickstart her psyche.
I am so so happy that she's doing so well. 3 weeks ago, she would just walk away from me and I'd be so frustrated with myself at times and now, we're like close friends on the ward-she'd be able to carry a normal conversation with me... Though the relationship is strictly professional, it's more human now. There's more of a connection now than before when she was still 'sick'.
She's made me more empathetic somewhat to my other sometimes intolerable manic patient. Because she's been there before-she knows what it's like to be in the manic state. When I told her about my other patient denying her illness and not wanting to speak to me and not taking her meds, she told me 'But she can't control that though'... and I realised the truth that never really sunk in before.
You know what I like about being here- seeing how they've markedly improve when they're under your wings to be cared for, makes me feel that you know what- Going through all the difficulties in the beginning really is worth it in the end, especially when you see them able to live like normal beings...able to talk to other patients, able to laugh and smile, able to control their emotions, able to share experiences with others, able to tease other people...
It brings a smile to my face and I feel so contented with that.
her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
8:16 AM;;
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
I guess this is what you call regression; a form of defence mechanism-where you regress into a child-like behaviour...I so wish for my mum to fly over and make me her wonderful curry chicken with red bean soup for dessert & throw in a pot of hot chicken soup with all kinds of mumbo-jumbo nutrients... I've been having the chills since yesterday.My back and hips throb and ache constantly- then again, I'm to be blamed. So smart-aleck of me to start imposing myself into wicked Pilates stances...*thanks to youtube ;)* And now herein, I suffer the consequences of not warming up first.Jackie laughed 'You gotta get into shape Sue!'She's one soul with lots of resistance. So far, not a single blueberry bread, chocolate-chip with banana bread, peanut-butter cookies, date squares, Lays potato chips has gone past her lips... On the other hand, I have been devouring them with much gusto...much to the amazement of the rest of the staff as to 'how on earth she still remains that size' ;) LoL...Oh I have a strong feeling it is accumulating in my adipose cells... and I really should be careful!Ok---I have digressed... Back to my chills and body ache... oh what the heck. I'm going to take a nap.And dream of my long-lost red bean soup and curry chicken OR maybe...roti canai with a cup of steaming teh tarik... delicious. And so good for the recovering soul :)
her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
6:28 AM;;
Monday, March 03, 2008
her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
11:50 AM;;
Sunday, March 02, 2008
her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
12:37 AM;;
If only the kuai los here have the same kind of bond with their family as Asians, there really wouldn't be such a high rate of suicide amongst the elderly. Which is sad really, because that makes it preventable - the old folks don't have to go down that desperate route.Double whammy since they're already so old and yet, they've got to cope with life's stresses independently. Anyway, I was on call with PGY-2 Anil, who's pretty laidback. Apparently, my interviewing skills are the standard of a residents' ;) *big grin*He showed me the resident's call room which had such an amazing view of the sea! And I had my own stocked fridge, cable TV, cosy bed, couch and a locker room+shower+toilet : all in one room.Absolutely fantastic... :) *heart him*And now, here I am, post-call. Back in my room, hiding from the brutal-12C outside.Apparently, it's going to be a warm, sunny 9C tomorrow. Yes, for Halifax standards, 9C is welcomed with open arms :)
her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
12:25 AM;;
