and when she speaks
Saturday, April 26, 2008
It's 5.30am now.I just came back from Emerge about an hour ago.During my shower, I was reflecting on that patient...That 30 year old male patient who was told he has metastatic sarcoma in his lung. And he cried when told he has much less than a year of life left.
All that composure and emotional barrier you had prepared yourself with to break the news, melts away from your heart when you see a big guy break down.
We whine.complain.rant.take life for granted.What would he be thinking right now? Doing right now?Knowing that he doesn't have that much longer to live, how would he live his remaining days?It's surreal when it hits you. But that's the thing though, it doesn't hit most people. Really, life can take a unexpected swipe at you, that's why you should always make the most of your time and live the very best you can-everyday.And one more thing, when life knocks you down hard, just remember not to feel sorry for yourself and start whining, because hey, at least you've got a chance to live and give it another shot to get back onto the road again.
Rob, my Emerge buddy said to me last night;
'I can't believe Dr. ------- asked you to date his son!'
Shocked, I replied and poked him 'You heard? I can't believe you were EAVESDROPPING!'
He laughed out... 'I was sitting there. It was so funny.I would have been so embarrassed.'
-'I was.I was bright red. I was like 'ahahaha..........'' and then I looked away.-
Rob who obviously wasn't paying attention to his charts and instead enjoying very much the conversation I was having with Dr------, said 'You reacted very well though.' THEN, that big blabber mouth went to tell Dave the story.
So so awkward la...
Coffee with old residentDim sum with senior residentMartini with the girlsFarmer's market this Saturday And then, the drill.
Friday, April 25, 2008
"Exceptional" =)Hehee... I've loved Emerge. But I think it is time to move on to another rotation...I've taken enough blood, seen enough of emergencies, done enough consults, sutured enough cuts...Next up is the much-talked about brutal General Surgery where we get up around 5-5.30am.I don't know how I am going to survive the early hours, especially since I'm such a night owl.We'll see.I had a 20 year old fit muscular footballer come in with a laceration on his L heel. He said to me 'Pls. I am a footballer. I can't have it sutured'. I looked at that cut and I thought 'I've got bigger cuts than this before!'...As I was about to leave the room, another tease warning from this giant 'Remember-no suture'I laughed inside and Eric, the male charge nurse, snickered when I took him on as my patient.Now I know why.I told Dr Curry the story, we went in together to look at that *big, scary* cut.And gave him a band-aid and discharged him.Just for that, he waited hours... I CANNOT BELIEVE it!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
I watched a code today.She didn't make it.And she was only 60.All that happened was she suddenly collapsed whilst working...My doctor had to break the news to the unsuspecting husband who only thought she fainted.May your soul rest in peace. I stood there standing by for a few moments in silence, watching your lifeless eyes wide open looking toward the ceiling and your skin blue and spotty.
We didn't want to prolong the resuscitative efforts anymore for if you were revived and came back, you would be a vegetable, no more.I don't need to say it, but life is very fragile.
"I see my life
Flash across the sky
So many times have I
Been so afraid
And just when I
Have thought I've lost my way
You give me strength to carry on
I promise you
I'm always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair
I'll carry you
When you need a friend
You'll find my footprints in the sand"
Monday, April 21, 2008
Came back late from last night's shift.And ... without realising, I zonked out with my room lights still on til this morning's alarm.Ran off to hospital for procedural shift with Debbie.Oh~ I had tonnes of fun. I took so much blood. Poked and probed into every patient that needed blood or an IV drip. One patient, in record history, needed 16 vials. That's close to donating blood. He had pretty much every single darn test on that sheet!All the better for me, lots more blooood- *muahahaha-evil laughter* I baked granola yesterday after so many days of dreaming about it. I buy tonnes of granola bars and granola cereals. SO one fine day, I happened to come across a granola recipe on a food blog. It seemed easy enough- :)I did it! And it tastes so good! Only thing is I've almost finished all that I baked in a span of less than 2 days by myself. My insane lack of control when it comes to food I like and crave!!!Just woke up actually, my night's shift about to start at 10pm til tmr 4am.SO I should be running off in two hours' time.Til then, lots of LOVE =)