welcome

Call me Sueyi.
Call me Sue-Sue.
Call me Sue.
Just don't call me lil fry.

A 19 yr old :

Finding her niche in the passionate world of white coats and stethoscopes.

Missing Malaysian food so badly, that she drowns her sorrow by surfing food blogs.

Who watches scary movies only with friends who have high pain threshold (from all that pinching)

Who has very cold extremities, ask my stimulated patients, oops sorry, "simulated patients"

Who loves a good laugh with candid, thick-skinned friends

Who cannot stay surrounded by 4 walls for more than a few hours

Who loves her loved ones so so much


:)

shout outs



endless wishes

char siew bao.

blueberry muffins.

hot Milo and crackers.

a neverending supply of Daddy's socks.

Bear hugs. Warm kisses. Lots of Love.

My own beach chalet.

Bubble baths.

Shining sun and rainbows.

Sexy stilettos.

Dancing.

Me

I wear socks.Even with heels.

I play with my earlobes.

I have a Mongolian mole.

My family means the world to me. "Family means no one gets left behind"

I like cheekiness. You cheeky, me cheeky.

I heart my close friends, the ones who know me in and out, the ones who've grown with me.

Archives

July 1, 2007

July 8, 2007

July 15, 2007

July 22, 2007

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July 26, 2009

August 2, 2009

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September 6, 2009

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October 4, 2009

October 11, 2009

October 18, 2009

October 25, 2009

November 1, 2009

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December 6, 2009

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August 1, 2010

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August 29, 2010

September 5, 2010

September 26, 2010

October 3, 2010

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October 17, 2010

October 24, 2010

October 31, 2010

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November 14, 2010

November 21, 2010

November 28, 2010

December 5, 2010

December 19, 2010

December 26, 2010

January 9, 2011

January 16, 2011

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February 13, 2011

February 20, 2011

February 27, 2011

March 6, 2011

March 13, 2011

March 20, 2011

April 3, 2011

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April 24, 2011

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June 5, 2011

June 19, 2011

July 10, 2011

July 17, 2011

July 24, 2011

July 31, 2011

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August 14, 2011

August 28, 2011

September 4, 2011

September 11, 2011

September 18, 2011

September 25, 2011

October 2, 2011

October 16, 2011

October 23, 2011

October 30, 2011

November 6, 2011

November 13, 2011

November 20, 2011

January 8, 2012

January 29, 2012

February 5, 2012

March 11, 2012

March 18, 2012

March 25, 2012

July 8, 2012

July 22, 2012

August 5, 2012

August 12, 2012

September 2, 2012

September 16, 2012

September 30, 2012

October 7, 2012

October 14, 2012

October 21, 2012

October 28, 2012

November 11, 2012

September 8, 2013

September 29, 2013

January 5, 2014

January 26, 2014

February 16, 2014

July 27, 2014

August 17, 2014

August 24, 2014

November 16, 2014

December 7, 2014

February 22, 2015

March 1, 2015



and when she speaks

Friday, September 07, 2012

If there's one thing I love about my job, it is being able to be there for my patients...

Bonding with them and their families. 
Sharing - their stories. Their jokes. Their sarcasm.
Holding their hands. 

The past week, there was one particular family I was heavily involved with.
I became there for his wife and his sister during his final few days. Helping them get through his dying journey, along with their extended family. It was only 3-4 days of being on service, and by his passing day, I knew I had been a strong supportive pillar to them. Watching his imminent death- made me see how tragic events like this brings everyone together- in times of tragedy- it brings unity.

My heart broke when she said "I know it is the right thing. I just am not ready to let him go". He was only 44. With children of his, too young to understand anything. And for her, so hard to let go. So much easier to be in denial. 

Then the day before he passed, she said to me "I will spend the night here. I deserve to be here with him, spending his last few moments. I deserve that". I saw tears everyday in her- and I said to her "You deserve all of that"

Dealing with family members, who are first stern and harsh- but only all a protective shield, and when it all gets too much, that shield breaks. And you see them at their most vulnerable moments, and then, you let them know you're there with them to help them through the process of healing. 

It's almost the end of my first week of inpatient oncology, and I am much more confident now, and more assured of my role. I have a better grasp, and I know most of them by heart now. And I have formed some sort of a steady relationship with them and their families. And it brings me joy, every morning, going in to check up on them. Roping in a smiling face, early in the morning, cracking a joke or two, or just being a positive presence- in any way- I truly love love what I do. 

It is no lie. My hours are brutal. I will definitely exceed more than 95 hours this past week itself- working straight from being on call Friday 5pm (before that M-F) then all through the Labor Weekend, and pulling hours from 6am to 7.30pm at work, and coming home working ON WORK til 10pm reading through... 

My best friends somehow just seem to be extraordinarily psychic. They know when I'm missing, it's not good news- and them just knowing exactly the right moment to call me. Emails from friends, Skype video calls, text messages, phone calls from friends all over- they are all an abundant support and I couldn't be more thankful to be so loved and thought of :)) (*hehe*)

My boss and I have worked really hard. And I do have a sweet boss, he saved a sandwich for me from conference, gives me snacks from his little mini fridge and then drops me off at home so I don't have to take the bus. 

I am tired, but not so overwhelmed now. 
You know what I came across, the youngest oncologist in Australia at the age of 33-> and I will be an oncologist before my 28th birthday. It will be a big celebration :) 

I am so blessed to have an amazing family and such wonderful, caring friends

ONTO visitors coming in. Damien this weekend, Roselyn the next, then my Australian girlfriend- then Christine! :) 



her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
10:36 AM;;

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

I'm so blessed to have amazing people in my life.

Some days are tough, but there are rainbows at the end, as my dad puts it.

I watched Devil wears Prada when I stayed over at Christine's a week ago, and one quote caught my breath:

Andrea: My personal life is falling apart.
Nigel: That's what happens when you start doing well at work. Let me know when your entire life goes up in smoke: then it's time for a promotion. 

Life's not worth living like that I feel, but it is so easy to get stuck in the rat race and lose focus on the real, meaningful priorities. And I know I get caught up in that too.

I'm sorry to especially, my family, for not being able to be there- and for not being the supportive daughter/sister. I know work's never a good enough excuse, but I'm trying. 

I'm learning to balance it all right now, although sometimes I feel there's just so much to do. 

The only fear I have is when I start taking my loved ones for granted and end up never giving myself to those who matter, like family. 

I don't ever want to fall into that. I will not sacrifice family for career. Life is too precious and fragile to make that mistake.

I love you all lots

SueSue 



her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
11:17 AM;;

Monday, September 03, 2012

I am in love with this song

Dreamy. Perfect for a rainy day.

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
7:34 AM;;

Sunday, September 02, 2012

In the two months here (July/August)- I've made some really good girl friends. Girl friends whom I know have my backs and are my eating/listening/ranting/walking buddies =) They've been amazing :)

Girls with genuine hearts and are down-to-earth (like me =)), not ostentatious, with similar interests ie FOOD! :) Together, we've explored quite a few great chomps around town :) and I'm grateful to have them here with me, during my first two months here in this new city.

Alongside, of course, my best friends all over the world- whom have kept me company via Skype whilst I'm at home typing away furiously at my clinic notes, reading up on all the different types/stages of cancer and their respective management and chemotherapy drug trials, or just giving me the right amount of distraction I need ;) I think I'm lucky- because I do meet good people along the way. 

Some of may think I am naive, especially my best friend- but of course I'm wary. 

This world has so much cynicism, that sometimes I think a little bit of naivete, innocence and just having a pure clean soul- is refreshing, you know? Maybe that's what the world needs more of...

Expectations. No matter how you prepare yourself mentally, you still see things that you never thought of.

*Like a 27 year old beautiful woman, who has metastatic colon cancer. 
*Like the late 30 something year old woman diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and on repeat scan after having her pancreas removed, the cancer has spread (within 2-4 weeks)- with her breaking down, and her husband not connecting two-and-two together, asking about fertility treatments instead to conceive a baby. And all this whilst the prognosis for metastatic pancreatic cancer- is only months. Usually 3-6 months. 
*Like the 50 year old humorous, energetic, vibrant young man with brain cancer- that has progressed and is causing personality changes, agitation at home- whilst his wife quietly takes it in, and puts on a brave, supportive front - 

In our clinic, which I just realized, it is almost a taboo to say that a patient is "so nice"- because they say the worst things happen to the nicest people... that's why they "shush" you when you say things like that.

I have met countless people who cringe and ask me why ? Why did I choose oncology? 
It's morbid. Sometimes heartbreaking, depressing- but you can truly make a difference. Albeit a bit. Even if it means some improvement in quality of life. Or emotional support. And every LITTLE BIT counts. And I want to be the person who plays that role, because I know I can - do just that. 

Love always,
SueSue

I've started inpatient oncology. One month. WISH me luck. 
I call it my "dieting" month, because I should expect weight loss by the end of this :P 

:) 










her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
10:24 AM;;