If there's one thing I love about my job, it is being able to be there for my patients...
Bonding with them and their families.
Sharing - their stories. Their jokes. Their sarcasm.
Holding their hands.
The past week, there was one particular family I was heavily involved with.
I became there for his wife and his sister during his final few days. Helping them get through his dying journey, along with their extended family. It was only 3-4 days of being on service, and by his passing day, I knew I had been a strong supportive pillar to them. Watching his imminent death- made me see how tragic events like this brings everyone together- in times of tragedy- it brings unity.
My heart broke when she said "I know it is the right thing. I just am not ready to let him go". He was only 44. With children of his, too young to understand anything. And for her, so hard to let go. So much easier to be in denial.
Then the day before he passed, she said to me "I will spend the night here. I deserve to be here with him, spending his last few moments. I deserve that". I saw tears everyday in her- and I said to her "You deserve all of that"
Dealing with family members, who are first stern and harsh- but only all a protective shield, and when it all gets too much, that shield breaks. And you see them at their most vulnerable moments, and then, you let them know you're there with them to help them through the process of healing.
It's almost the end of my first week of inpatient oncology, and I am much more confident now, and more assured of my role. I have a better grasp, and I know most of them by heart now. And I have formed some sort of a steady relationship with them and their families. And it brings me joy, every morning, going in to check up on them. Roping in a smiling face, early in the morning, cracking a joke or two, or just being a positive presence- in any way- I truly love love what I do.
It is no lie. My hours are brutal. I will definitely exceed more than 95 hours this past week itself- working straight from being on call Friday 5pm (before that M-F) then all through the Labor Weekend, and pulling hours from 6am to 7.30pm at work, and coming home working ON WORK til 10pm reading through...
My best friends somehow just seem to be extraordinarily psychic. They know when I'm missing, it's not good news- and them just knowing exactly the right moment to call me. Emails from friends, Skype video calls, text messages, phone calls from friends all over- they are all an abundant support and I couldn't be more thankful to be so loved and thought of :)) (*hehe*)
My boss and I have worked really hard. And I do have a sweet boss, he saved a sandwich for me from conference, gives me snacks from his little mini fridge and then drops me off at home so I don't have to take the bus.
I am tired, but not so overwhelmed now.
You know what I came across, the youngest oncologist in Australia at the age of 33-> and I will be an oncologist before my 28th birthday. It will be a big celebration :)
I am so blessed to have an amazing family and such wonderful, caring friends
ONTO visitors coming in. Damien this weekend, Roselyn the next, then my Australian girlfriend- then Christine! :)