Call me Sueyi.
Call me Sue-Sue.
Call me Sue.
Just don't call me lil fry.

A 19 yr old :

Finding her niche in the passionate world of white coats and stethoscopes.

Missing Malaysian food so badly, that she drowns her sorrow by surfing food blogs.

Who watches scary movies only with friends who have high pain threshold (from all that pinching)

Who has very cold extremities, ask my stimulated patients, oops sorry, "simulated patients"

Who loves a good laugh with candid, thick-skinned friends

Who cannot stay surrounded by 4 walls for more than a few hours

Who loves her loved ones so so much


shout outs

endless wishes

char siew bao.

blueberry muffins.

hot Milo and crackers.

a neverending supply of Daddy's socks.

Bear hugs. Warm kisses. Lots of Love.

My own beach chalet.

Bubble baths.

Shining sun and rainbows.

Sexy stilettos.



I wear socks.Even with heels.

I play with my earlobes.

I have a Mongolian mole.

My family means the world to me. "Family means no one gets left behind"

I like cheekiness. You cheeky, me cheeky.

I heart my close friends, the ones who know me in and out, the ones who've grown with me.


July 1, 2007

July 8, 2007

July 15, 2007

July 22, 2007

July 29, 2007

August 5, 2007

August 12, 2007

August 19, 2007

August 26, 2007

September 2, 2007

September 9, 2007

September 16, 2007

September 23, 2007

September 30, 2007

October 7, 2007

October 14, 2007

October 21, 2007

October 28, 2007

November 4, 2007

November 11, 2007

November 18, 2007

November 25, 2007

December 2, 2007

December 9, 2007

December 16, 2007

December 23, 2007

January 6, 2008

January 13, 2008

January 20, 2008

January 27, 2008

February 3, 2008

February 10, 2008

February 17, 2008

February 24, 2008

March 2, 2008

March 9, 2008

March 16, 2008

March 23, 2008

March 30, 2008

April 6, 2008

April 13, 2008

April 20, 2008

April 27, 2008

May 4, 2008

May 11, 2008

May 18, 2008

May 25, 2008

June 1, 2008

June 8, 2008

June 15, 2008

June 22, 2008

June 29, 2008

July 6, 2008

July 13, 2008

July 20, 2008

July 27, 2008

August 3, 2008

August 10, 2008

August 17, 2008

August 24, 2008

August 31, 2008

September 7, 2008

September 14, 2008

September 28, 2008

October 5, 2008

October 12, 2008

October 19, 2008

October 26, 2008

November 2, 2008

November 9, 2008

November 16, 2008

November 23, 2008

November 30, 2008

December 7, 2008

December 14, 2008

December 21, 2008

December 28, 2008

January 4, 2009

January 11, 2009

January 18, 2009

January 25, 2009

February 1, 2009

February 8, 2009

February 15, 2009

February 22, 2009

March 1, 2009

March 8, 2009

March 15, 2009

March 22, 2009

March 29, 2009

April 5, 2009

April 12, 2009

April 19, 2009

April 26, 2009

May 3, 2009

May 10, 2009

May 17, 2009

May 24, 2009

May 31, 2009

June 7, 2009

June 14, 2009

June 21, 2009

June 28, 2009

July 5, 2009

July 12, 2009

July 19, 2009

July 26, 2009

August 2, 2009

August 9, 2009

August 16, 2009

August 23, 2009

August 30, 2009

September 6, 2009

September 13, 2009

September 20, 2009

October 4, 2009

October 11, 2009

October 18, 2009

October 25, 2009

November 1, 2009

November 8, 2009

November 22, 2009

November 29, 2009

December 6, 2009

December 13, 2009

December 20, 2009

January 31, 2010

February 28, 2010

March 14, 2010

March 21, 2010

March 28, 2010

April 4, 2010

May 9, 2010

May 23, 2010

May 30, 2010

June 6, 2010

July 11, 2010

July 18, 2010

July 25, 2010

August 1, 2010

August 8, 2010

August 15, 2010

August 22, 2010

August 29, 2010

September 5, 2010

September 26, 2010

October 3, 2010

October 10, 2010

October 17, 2010

October 24, 2010

October 31, 2010

November 7, 2010

November 14, 2010

November 21, 2010

November 28, 2010

December 5, 2010

December 19, 2010

December 26, 2010

January 9, 2011

January 16, 2011

January 23, 2011

February 13, 2011

February 20, 2011

February 27, 2011

March 6, 2011

March 13, 2011

March 20, 2011

April 3, 2011

April 10, 2011

April 24, 2011

May 15, 2011

May 22, 2011

May 29, 2011

June 5, 2011

June 19, 2011

July 10, 2011

July 17, 2011

July 24, 2011

July 31, 2011

August 7, 2011

August 14, 2011

August 28, 2011

September 4, 2011

September 11, 2011

September 18, 2011

September 25, 2011

October 2, 2011

October 16, 2011

October 23, 2011

October 30, 2011

November 6, 2011

November 13, 2011

November 20, 2011

January 8, 2012

January 29, 2012

February 5, 2012

March 11, 2012

March 18, 2012

March 25, 2012

July 8, 2012

July 22, 2012

August 5, 2012

August 12, 2012

September 2, 2012

September 16, 2012

September 30, 2012

October 7, 2012

October 14, 2012

October 21, 2012

October 28, 2012

November 11, 2012

September 8, 2013

September 29, 2013

January 5, 2014

January 26, 2014

February 16, 2014

July 27, 2014

August 17, 2014

August 24, 2014

November 16, 2014

December 7, 2014

February 22, 2015

March 1, 2015

and when she speaks

Friday, November 12, 2010

Sometimes you do things you could never imagine. Things you would have thought insanely ridiculous.
Perhaps downright nutty. But some would call it passionate, your heart's call. A spur-of-the-moment thing.

I did something like that today. Went for it, didn't even give it a second thought.
I had all of the sympathetic nervous system manifestations. Palpitations. Sweaty palms. Nausea deep in my gut- really was 'gut-wrenching'. To the point of a near-diarrhea episode. Ok, so maybe this is too much detail for you to muster ;)

Of course, someone masterminded it- but that someone and I laughed over it after that. It's funny how a friend and I reconnected after 9 years of not seeing each other, over this. But damn, do I have guts. I really can't explain what drove me to do it. Maybe just the thought of going for it. Not knowing. And that nagging sensation of what if? If not now, then never. They always say if you don't try, you'll never know. Or if you want something, you should go all out.

And I had had this feeling for awhile. I would have continued questioning and wondering what the answer was. And this would have continued. Until today of course, with my super brazen (I'm ordinarily a big-time coward) self.

It was the first time, I did something so out of this world. Something that will only be exposed if I do write an autobiography if I become someone important/big *lol*

He felt so guilty after that. And told me he was a hopeless romantic. I realised that, of course :p
And I said 'It's ok. Some people live their lives with more passion than others. '

He laughed. And added 'We're men, you know. Without women, we're pointless.'
I teased him for putting down his own fellow brothers. Then, he laughed and said 'it's true.'

I still can't believe it. But you know. In a strange sort of way, it wasn't all that bad. Although the person at the other end said this 'crap is straight out from the movies'- and I called him a 'cynic and an oldie' ;) at least I got what I wanted. An answer. And no more questioning. No more nagging 'what ifs?'. I needed that. And I got an additional warmy hug too, at the end of it :) I'm sure he was taken aback, but it went well. Of course, he still thinks it was crazy and ridiculous. And after this incident, I'm sure normalcy will resume ;) because nothing can beat that. Damn, that was utterly crazy, and unimaginable- on my part. Why? I don't even know! But I just DID.

Truth be told, I felt a sense of calm. I know it sounds weird. And then I thought to myself, damn* do I have guts. *laughs* Of course, not everyone would have thought it was gutsy. But it really takes courage, and this I know for sure- cos nobody can pull it off. Cos it really is out of this world.

If I look at it lightly, (nobody got hurt- thats the most important bit-because everybody was being mature ;)) - it's actually really funny because it's so crazy. I think years down the road, I will look back and say *damn, I could never do anything like this again*- AND I most likely will NEVER. It will also make a damn good story if I ever were to write it in my book next time.

I came home. Then, I reflected some more. *I think I truly am one of a kind - lol* I don't think I could ever pull a stunt like that ever again. Or anybody could have pulled that off with as much grace as I did - *this is crazy talk* I'm sure someone I know really well will either roll his eyes, or think I've gone quack. I give :)

Oh yes- speaking of grace. My dad says that's what my name means in Chinese.

And aww- I just got a text from a colleague of mine- which made my night! 'You're very pretty, Sueyi. I thought I'd tell you that. I was looking at you today thinking 'She really looks great'. Anyway, hope you have a great time at clinic today.'

=) I still can't believe I did it. But you know what, I think fun times are up ahead. If I can do this, I think I can go and do anything now. *laughs*

11:37 AM;;

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Recapitulation of two great days after work:
Yesterday:- Dr Venu saw me in clinic, 'Sue, what are you doing here?'
"Oh I'm on heme clinic" He said 'Fantastic! Very good!'
Then he told me, he had already sent in my letter :) *smiles*
He taught me so much at clinic, I loved it. My first patient I saw in clinic was nervous... then, halfway through our consultation, she said 'You should go into oncology. You have a very calming presence. I feel very comfortable and at ease with you.'

I gave her a big smile, and said 'Aw, you're so sweet. Thank you. I am going into oncology. In fact, I'm applying for it in a weeks' time!' ;)

Later in the day, Dr Venu was so cute. He went 'Sue, you should go now. It's 4.30pm.'
I said 'Don't worry Dr Venu. I'm ok, I'll stay (cos he still had patients in the clinic)'. He was surprised, and asked 'Are you sure?'. I laughed 'Yes of course Dr Venu'. He then gave me a big cheeky smile and said, 'OK!' and quickly ran out to see the next patient.

Then, after seeing my last patient, he hurried for me to go home. He waved at me bye- before I even finished writing up the chart! He's too sweet!

I walked into the student's lounge- and bumped into Carlos. We hugged like 3 times, and chatted for awhile. It was so great to catch up with him, after so long. He disappeared into UoC for his genetics rotation, so that's why he was missing in action!

THen, I bumped into Beth- who took the train home with me, and we caught up about her NYC trip which she recently just got back from. Then, I did some shopping and bought myself a hot green halter top :)

Today, was even more fun! I worked with Dr Gezer, who was also another sweetheart. He told me 'I know you're applying. I will keep my eyes out for any interesting cases for you'. I laughed and said 'Dr Gezer, I'm applying in a weeks' time!' then told him that I am going all out for this.
He agreed, and shook my hand and thanked me for my efforts with him in the clinic this morning. Then, he said 'I'll see you in clinic tomorrow morning!'

My second patient, an old man who was the sweetest male patient. But he lost his 86 year old wife 2 months ago, from disease. He said to me 'True love is the most beautiful thing.' I stood there just listening to him go on about love. It made my heart flutter and so in awe. I felt so humbled, I couldn't help but etch a big deep, warm smile. I could see after that, his thoughts went to his wife... cos he stared straight for a bit.

Then, he asked me if I was married. I laughed and said I don't have time now, because of applications coming up. Then, he joked 'Men are no good.' I laughed. He said 'It's true. These days, men are only interested in having many women and into some action. I tell my boys all the time, you only need one woman in your life. Someone special. But they don't see it. They think it's manly to have 2 or three women.' He said to me 'You're pretty, smart, professional, independent- you need a great guy.' Then he went on 'Trust and love is all you need.' I could just stand there listening to him preach about love all day.

It melted my heart. I am sure he loved his wife tremendously. She passed away really quickly within a week, and before that, she was as healthy as a horse. I felt so bad for him.
Then, at the end, he asked for my name card- and asked if I had my own clinic. I have a strong feeling I just added another patient to my own clinic :)
What was even more wonderful, was how he validated me in front of my new boss- he said 'She did a great job.' My heart brimmed.

The last patient of the day, also after I brought in my boss- was trying hard to look at my nametag, and complimented me. Then, Dr Gezer added (much to my shyness already!) 'Isn't she great?' looking at me! I couldn't help but blush.

Then, in the afternoon, with my own clinic patients, the first one came over and gave me a big hug- and thanked me. I certainly did not see that one coming, but she cried on me. SHe was previously in a physically abusive relationship- and suffered severe anxiety as a result of that.

I think I'm really made for this field. I love forming that special bond with my patients. I could do this forever- and be in love with this job forever.

*lol* mummy is going to say I'm a workaholic. But seriously, nothing else gives me this much joy, satisfaction and fulfilment in life. I'm proud of what I can do to help them, even if its just a conversation that gives them hope, and encouragement.

8:41 AM;;

8:38 AM;;

Monday, November 08, 2010

9:13 AM;;

Was craving so badly for pancakes. Really wanted to eat at Bongo Room to have their specialty- the chocolate tower french toast! But our photoshoot was pushed a few hours earlier so we could capture the light earlier in the afternoon- so I wouldnt have made it in time for that...

Called Sai Hei up, who walked with me- but there were no pancake/great brunch areas near us, where there wasn't a long queue- so we ended up eating at Portillo's! with their Italian beef sandwich and their famous Chicago hot dog. Then, I had my photoshoot with Ray, Su Meng and Xiao. Met up with Aaron as well! It was such a fun day. Met new friends, and had an amazing time with Su Meng, Ray and Xiao. Su Meng and Ray are great, big-hearted people.

We then had TOM YUM :) at an authentic Thai restaurant up north =) and then, they dropped me home. I hope to stay in Chicago for fellowship - since I have such a great big support network here already... *keeping my fingers crossed*

9:05 AM;;

Sunday, November 07, 2010

I love my skype sessions with family at home.
They never cease to make me feel so loved. And make me laugh.
And miss home even more. Family is everything to me.

9:13 AM;;