Tempestuous ;;

and when she speaks

Friday, May 22, 2009

Come tonight; I am officially a doctor.

It's finally here; my dream for so long. It's finally here... An achievement I have always been working towards and dreaming of...

Of course; my dreams were slightly different; with me standing on the podium front, speaking before an audience and giving my thank you speech- my deepest thanks to my dearest family and all my mentors and close friends.

But nevertheless; I now carry the title MD Sueyi Lai.

I am proud of myself. But I know my parents are even happier.

Tonight, they took the whole family out. And mum and dad got me the sweetest graduation gift.

I won't write what it is; but I know how much they wanted to get something for me despite my incessant NOs =) They say it's not everyday where you can have a doctor for a daughter :)
And I couldn't have been more touched.

All my sisters gave me a big kiss on the cheek as congratulations. I didn't think of it as a big deal. It hasn't really sunk in... I guess maybe it only will; when I commence my doctorly duties come July ;)

I just want to say how I cannot believe this day is finally here.
I've worked so hard and did make some sacrifices- but it was always worth it; I felt -so it never felt like a chore. It never felt un-do-able.

This year I celebrate two things; being 21 and legal.
And coming out as a doctor into the working world.

=) A toast to family, education, love and life.

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
11:36 PM;;

There are some days when it can feel like a monotonous blur; some days where I feel I lack purpose and am wondering aimlessly; not achieving anything substantial nor making a difference. Some days where I just feel plain miserable. [ Yes, I have too much free time on my hands. I've figured that out too ;) ]

And on those days where I just want some time alone to reflect; time to clear my thoughts up; I usually retreat into a place where I can find some solitude, peace and serenity.

Today was one of those bad-days. And I shelled myself into my room for awhile, talking to someone and writing it out.

Last night; it struck me after a conversation with mum; how I was being foolish (that's not what she said; that's what I have come to realise after looking back at how I've behaved in one matter particularly) - foolish, flighty, and unfocused. I was letting my imagination run wild and excited; and not allowing reality to grab hold of my two feet and bring me back down to earth. I admit I was toying with all these ideas -which were all being made up in my own "playful" head.

I am inexperienced in this matter; I have no holds barred. That is the truth; and I openly admit.
But I am learning; grappling with both my heart and my head. I know one thing's for sure; I am utterly thankful for the support from both mum and dad. And the constant guidance and watchful eye.

Without a doubt, I make mistakes- and I can be stubborn; very hard-headed...
But I listen. And I take into consideration your guidance and well-meaning advice.
I'm just glad both of you never stop caring and supporting.

Dad walked beside me at lunch today; and asked 'Why, what's wrong?' in the most concerned fatherly voice. We had a nice heart-to-heart chat and dad has been tremendously open about this :)

I will not let my thoughts run havoc again. I am grounded.
And I'll let fate run its course ;)

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
5:32 PM;;

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.

I’ve learned…
That it’s those small daily happenings that make life spectacular
That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved
That love, not time, heals all wounds
That life is tough, but I’m tougher
That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks
That I can’t choose how I feel, but I can choose what to do about it

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
8:53 PM;;

I've managed to meet up with some old friends over the past few weeks :)

A childhood friend for 17 years; Eugene; introduced a Korean restaurant in Taipan and the best thing about it is that they s.e.r.v.e you:- they cook the raw meat for you and when you're done with eating two slices of meat on your little platter; they add on more from the grill plate. Which is absolutely wonderful :) - because I don't like knowing which parts I'm consuming:- so it was pleasant not knowing which one I swallowed was the cow's tongue ;P Eugene shared the same sentiment as me ;)

Met up with old IMU people; Kok Chuan and Ding.
Kathryn... who ended up snoring on the same bed as I did after watching a scary movie! ;)

Grandma's ear cancer turned out to be parotid cancer; instead. She is still kept out of the loop; but she can definitely sense someething is not right; despite everyone assuring her otherwise. Who can blame her for feeling suspiciously worried- when each time you see your doctor; you've got a few children and grandchildren by your side; when ordinarily; these people don't see you that often. I just hope her running thoughts don't work against her; and affect her mental strength.

The pain's gone much better. The doctor we saw in Tung Shin is undoubtedly a brilliant, compassionate doctor. He's given us his solemn promise of giving her the best chance she can get. Surgery's now planned for Tuesday; and we'll take it from there.

My US visa is still giving me a headache; and it scared me the other night; I couldn't sleep at all.
I know I'm being a silly nerve wreck- but it's interfered with a few of my original plans. I was supposed to be in Chicago by the end of May to sort out my accomodation; my banking issues; my social security number... Here we are; close to the end of May- but it looks like I may only be able to arrive there by mid-June; just a day before an exam... Thankfully; the friends at Chicago have been informed and are ready and willing to help. *thank you!* I'll be putting up with one of the Malaysians I've been introduced to. *thank my lucky stars for the kind souls!* :)

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
8:23 PM;;