Tempestuous ;;

and when she speaks

Friday, March 20, 2009

A new phase of life starts.

A starting point where a whole exciting journey ahead is about to begin.

One where I will carry more responsibilities and start out in the working world as a doctor.

Dr Lai =) I kinda like the ring to that *hehehe*

Am I ready for the long hours? Check. The sleepless nights? The on-call sessions where patients might be crashing and coding and it's up to me to call the code and run the team? Exploring and enjoying my experience as an intern whilst figuring out which field I would like to specialise in? Ready for hard-core balancing of life between working, studying, pursuing a sideline research project and time for myself with friends and family? Am I ready to learn how to manage patients and ftheir families under guidance and supervision & learn to deal with dying patients?
Ready to face the challenges of the working world and keep a fiery spirit despite some hard times ahead? *laughs* CHECK.CHECK.CHECK. =)

I guess I'm pretty ready to tackle on anything just about now. Since I'm still excited and euphoric! :) and the adrenaline's pumping.

I want to say I have all my family (especially my dearest parents and sisters who are always there to cheer me on with their full support and love) and my friends who have been absolute gems with their support, encouragement and unanimous show of concern to THANK FOR =) Aznah from IMU's SAD said this is like a thank you speech for an award *hahahaha* :p

I'm looking forward to starting afresh in windy ol' Chicago! 3 years there for internal medicine :)
Looking forward to making many more friends there and having the time of my life; being the best I can be; and enjoying all that's around me :)

xoxoxo

Here's to all my friends who made it for residency as well! =) well done guys! we are a fantastic bunch! :)

P.S. Thank U for all the CONGRATS wishes =)

Oh OH. I'll be working in Rush Hospital in CHicago! :)

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
10:13 AM;;

Thursday, March 19, 2009

"Sometimes we think we're doing our best for them. But our best isn't exactly what's best for them; and what's worse is when it isn't what they want either...

Human beings are such that we like to impose..."
This was what Dr Siew said to me this morning.

Old people dying with a terminally ill condition should receive a palliative care referral. And if your loved one is one who has not; and he/she is suffering immensely; then speak to the doctor-in-charge regarding consulting a palliative care team or hospice care.

I've seen it over and over again how dying patients suffer at the hands of their loved ones who unintentionally believe they're doing the right thing for the patient.

Sometimes the right thing is to not do anything but to let them go peacefully. With dignity and with what's left of any quality of life possible.

A family of daughters I know who took care of their terminally ill father with end-stage-renal disease insisted on dialysing their father despite the very grave prognosis.

Dialysis is not itself an answer to many of the problems encountered when your kidneys fail; especially so when you're so frail, fragile and vulnerable. It has its own bag of risks as well...
He was already palliative ie we did what we could to ensure no difficulty breathing, no pain of any sort; etc... It was understood no more invasive treatments that would cause discomfort or pain of any sort should be administered.

Yet... they went ahead without letting us know; and brought him to a private hospital.
They insisted on dialysis... and their father had a major complication from one of the dialysis sessions; he bled internally and starting pooping out blood.

He was wheeled into surgery (he was an old 91 year old man) and his blood pressure fell rapidly. There was nothing that could have saved him.

He wanted to live to a ripe old 100 years.
But that wasn't possible. He didn't want dialysis. He wanted Chinese accupuncture.

They should have respected it. We already gave them the green light to let him do as he pleases because at this point; it's more keeping him happy and doing what we can to make him comfortable.

When they found out what had happened with regards to his father being rushed for an emergent surgery, his daughters wanted to see their father breathe his very last-but they were denied that opportunity.

When they finally did get to see him; he was dead and lifeless on the bed.

I could only imagine what he must have felt when the doctors and nurses were rushing to try and revive him whilst he was in the process of dying.
Frozen with fear? Without a doubt.

Where were his loved ones?

Why did he have to go like this?

He was helpless. dying. unable to fight. unable to have his wishes and decisions respected, despite him being close to death. At least let him have his last dying wish granted.

I am sure if they could turn back time, they'd have wished they hadn't decided on dialysing him. And went ahead with what he wanted and requested for.

No one can say how long he would have been able to live if he hadn't gone for dialysis; but dialysis brought along mroe risks than benefits and despite them knowing this; they thought it was the right thing to do. Instead of passing away comfortably and with loved ones by his side, he had to pass on abruptly and unexpectedly too soon.

Sometimes; what you feel is for their own good might not necessarily be what's best for them.So please judge and weigh the pros/cons carefully before deciding how they are going to live the rest of their short, remaining lifespan.

To add to the grief of his daughters who were not allowed to see their father, they were also furious at the fact that their dead father had no blanket to cover him up. And the room was 'freezing'. The worst thing was he was in a private hospital. A very very expensive one, at that.

That's private hospital care for you and it just goes to show all the money in the world cannot buy your dying ones comfort on their last journey if you're unlucky.

Hearing stories like this happening on a frequent basis; it makes me furious at how lack & inhumane & UNcompassionate hospital care can sometimes be...

As for my part, what I can do and will do is to advocate & educate people on end-of-life issues and on quality of life in terminally ill patients.

Spreading by word of mouth; starting with family and friends is the easiest way to get this going.

It's sad how there's so little being done with regards to educating the public on health and life/death issues like this.

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
9:57 PM;;

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

It is official.

I am employed; and officially start as an intern this June/July in a US hospital =)

*yay*

Don't ask me where yet?
Someone said so 'potong steam' cos' they only told us if we've matched or not last night. Where yet- we'll only find that our later -.-'

I'm super excited!!

:)

her
STORY,
her ALIBIS
8:42 PM;;